


You're Not Broken

by RedShirtWriter34567



Category: Jessica Jones (TV), Underworld (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Broken Bones, Crossovers & Fandom Fusions, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Smut, Friends to Lovers, Guilt, I Will Go Down With This Ship, Idiots in Love, M/M, Nightmares, Past Rape/Non-con, Serious Injuries, Sickfic, Slow Burn, Supernatural Angsty Men In Love, Wolf Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-03
Updated: 2020-04-27
Packaged: 2021-03-01 03:54:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 33,409
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23465032
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RedShirtWriter34567/pseuds/RedShirtWriter34567
Summary: Instead of killing him, Jessica Jones beats and wounds Killgrave in an alley. Alone, sick, and in pain, Killgrave accepts his fate just as he's rescued by Lucian, a man immune to his powers and with a mysterious past.
Relationships: Zebediah Killgrave/Lucian (Underworld)
Comments: 134
Kudos: 80





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This a pairing me and my friend Hannah came up with. I know a lot of people ship Killgrave with evil characters, but I don't really see him as evil. And I'm not excusing his actions, but I have a soft spot for tortured souls, considering that I am one.

Everything hurt. Killgrave coughed and regretted it when pain ripped through his chest. Blood filled his mouth and he spat on the ground, wincing. Jessica had certainly done a number on him. His bottom lip was swollen and oozing blood down his chin. His clothes were torn and soaked by the rain. His chest was bruised, several of his ribs broken, causing a burning pain each time he so much as breathed. His right arm hurt the worst, sticking out at an odd angle, broken severely. Thunder clapped and lightning flashed, casting light across the dingy gutter where Jessica had left him. Overflowing trash cans and Dumpsters surrounded Killgrave, the smell overpowering. He tried to move and grunted as his body lit up with pain again.

"Somebody just kill me," he groaned. 

He was surprised that Jessica hadn't killed him. After all he had done to her, he deserved it. He shook his wet hair out his face, gritting his loose teeth when dizziness made his vision blur. A bitter taste filled his mouth and he vomited, pain exploding through his chest. He coughed, bile trickling down his lips, tears welling up in his eyes. He curled in on himself, best he could with a broken arm, and closed his eyes, shivering in his sodden clothes. Faintly, outside of his veil of misery, he thought he heard something or someone approaching him. He curled away from the puddle of sick, trying to hide. He felt so weak and sick and vulnerable. He hated it. Something wet and cold brushed his cheek. It felt like a dog's nose, probably a stray. Killgrave grunted and feebly swatted at it with his good arm. 

"Leave me alone," he grunted. 

The dog whined but walked away a few feet. Killgrave heard a strange noise, popping and cracking, then a deep sigh. Footstep approached him, human-sounding this time. A warm hand brushed across Killgrave's cheek gently. He flinched at the touch and tried to roll away. 

"Don't be afraid," a man's voice whispered. He had an accent similar to Killgrave's, but also a little different. "I'm trying to help you."

Killgrave carefully cracked open one eye. A man knelt on the ground beside him, long dark hair falling around a face with a neatly trimmed beard. His eyes looked blue or grey, though Killgrave couldn't be sure. He wore leather boots and pants, along with a long black jacket. He tilted his head to the side as he studied Killgrave, taking in his injuries. He reached out again, and the other man whimpered slightly and flinched away again.

"Leave me alone," Killgrave said. "Nobody can help me."

"I can if you let me," the man replied. "My name is Lucian. What's yours?"

"Killgrave," Killgrave answered. "Now that we've got the introductions out of the way, leave me alone!"

He made sure to use his power in that statement, and waited for Lucian to get up and walk away. But he didn't. He remained on the ground, his face full of concern. Killgrave raised an eyebrow and coughed, wincing at the pain. 

"Why are you still here?" he asked.

"It's not in my nature to ignore those suffering and in pain," Lucian replied. "I know what that's like, so I made a pledge to help people in need. Even if they're stubborn like you."

"I can't be helped," Killgrave spat. "And I don't want to be."

Lucian blinked at that, his brow furrowing with worry when he noticed the shivers wracking Killgrave's body. He peeled off his long black jacket and draped it over him. Killgrave wanted to protest, but he was too weak. The jacket was soft, lined with fleece on the inside, and smelled like woodsmoke and damp grass. Lucian didn't look bothered by the cold and the rain as he reached over, placing his hand gently on Killgrave's broken arm. 

"This looks like a bad break," he said. "You need medical attention."

"No!" Killgrave snapped instantly. "No hospitals!"

"Alright," Lucian told him soothingly. "I won't take you to the hospital, but I do need to get you out of here. I have a hotel room not far from here. Will you let me take you there?"

"Would it matter if I said no?" Killgrave asked.

"No," Lucian replied simply.

"Fine," Killgrave mumbled.

Lucian carefully reached over, gathering Killgrave into his arms. He tucked the jacket more firmly around him, making sure not to jostle his broken arm. Killgrave couldn't bite back the whimper when his ribs twinged. Lucian was so strong, stronger than he looked. He lifted Killgrave like he weighed no more than a child. He started walking, though Killgrave wasn't sure which way they were going. His face was pressed against the other man's shoulder, so he was able to see his face. He looked concerned, yet Killgrave noticed a sadness in his eyes. As they left the alley, Killgrave wondered what happened to the dog that had shown up before Lucian. As they walked, he began to feel lightheaded, his vision getting blurry again. His eyes began to close, but Lucian spoke urgently. 

"Hey, stay awake," he murmured. "Don't fall asleep, alright? Just hold on. We're almost there."

"M'tired," Killgrave said, his voice thready and quiet.

"I know," Lucian replied. "But just hold on a little longer."

Killgrave hummed, his eyes fluttering closed, and he heard Lucian curse before he lost consciousness completely. 

Killgrave woke up abruptly as horrible pain pierced his broken arm. He bolted upright with a strangled yell, and Lucian jumped back, his eyes wide. Killgrave took several deep breaths, his heart racing, and looked at his right arm. Lucian had popped it back into place, though it still looked discolored. Killgrave tried to move it and he hissed. 

"Don't do that," Lucian admonished. "I still need to bind it."

"Why didn't you warn me?" Killgrave snapped.

"You were unconscious," Lucian answered simply. "I figured you'd wake up once I set the bone anyway."

Killgrave rolled his eyes and grunted. He looked around, taking in his surroundings as Lucian bound his arm in a makeshift sling. They were in a hotel room, a rather nice one at that. The walls were painted a soft yellow, paintings of landscapes hanging here and there. The carpet was a cream-and-black Harlequin pattern. The bed Killgrave was in was large and soft, with silk sheets and a heavy black blanket. Lucian finished wrapping his arm and carefully put the strap behind his neck. He still wore the leather boots and pants, his black jacket abandoned on the leather couch. The shirt he wore showed off his scarred, muscled arms and chest, his long hair splaying about his shoulders. Killgrave adjusted his sling and realized that he wore only his underwear. His chest was an array of black and purple bruises.

"Did you undress me?" he asked Lucian, fighting the urge to blush.

"Yes," Lucian answered. "Your clothes were wet and torn. Staying in them would make you sicker than you already are."

"I'm not sick," Killgrave protested. He'd barely finished the sentence before a cough left his lips, his chest screaming with pain. 

When he finally stopped, Lucian stared at him with an 'I told you so' expression on his face. Killgrave blushed despite himself and turned away. Lucian chuckled and stood up from the bed. He disappeared into what Killgrave assumed was a bathroom and came back out with a first-aid kit. He sat back down on the bed and opened it, taking out some alcohol swabs, a tube of antibacterial gel, and a cotton ball. He tore open one of the swabs, and Killgrave wrinkled his nose at the smell. 

"Come closer," Lucian instructed. "Let me clean the cut on your lip."

"That stuff stings," Killgrave retorted petulantly. 

"Only for a minute," Lucian replied. 

Killgrave grunted and leaned forward. Lucian held his chin gently with strong, calloused hands and dabbed at the cut on his lower lip. Killgrave winced at the sting and tried to pull away, but Lucian held him still. He set the swab aside and picked up the gel, squeezing some onto the cotton ball and dabbing at the cut again. When he was finished, he packed away the first-aid kit and set it on the nightstand by the bed. Killgrave leaned back against the pillows, his eyes getting heavy. His body still shook with chills, and he used his good arm to pulled the blanket up higher over his bare, bruised chest. Lucian placed a smaller pillow within his reach, letting him rest his bad arm on it. He placed the back of his hand on Killgrave's cheek and frowned.

"You're burning up," he said.

"M'cold," Killgrave murmured, closing his eyes, trying to find a comfortable position.

Lucian left the bed and returned holding an extra blanket from the couch, draping it over Killgrave's sweating, shivering form. He went into the bathroom and rummaged around in the cabinets, trying to find some medicine. He eventually found some pain and fever reducers. He filled a paper cup with water and came back out into the room. Killgrave was in bed, shivering, the blankets tucked firmly around his body, his broken arm resting on the pillow. His face was flushed and sweaty, his hair sticking to his face. Lucian approached, opening the pills and shaking some into his hand. He sat on the bed and shook Killgrave a little.

"What?" he grunted, opening one eye.

"I found some medicine," Lucian told him. "It should help with your pain and fever."

He offered them to Killgrave, who whined. He felt to weak to move. Lucian bit down on his bottom lip and held Killgrave's head gently, holding the pills to his lips. He opened begrudgingly and accepted the pills, swallowing them down with the water. He sighed and leaned back into the pillows, turning over onto his good side. He fell asleep quickly, his breathing shaky and raspy, punctuated by the occasional cough or whimper.


	2. Chapter 2

Lucian watched the man called Killgrave shiver in his sleep. His brow was furrowed, sweat shining on his face. He kept trying to burrow further into the bed, but his wounded arm prevented him from doing so. Lucian was concerned, especially since he was wondering who had done this to Killgrave. Surely that wasn't his real name. Perhaps a pseudonym, maybe to protect himself. But from who? Lucian had only been in New York a week, and he'd witnessed a lot of things-some beautiful, some horrible. He'd been in the area, in his lycan form for a change, to see how different the city would be through his more powerful senses. He hadn't expected to find this man, handsome, but wounded and ill, alone in a dingy alley in the rain. The scent of Killgrave's blood, leaking from his lip, had drawn Lucian to him.

"I can't be helped," Killgrave had spat. "And I don't want to be."

His dark eyes had been full of anger, his voice laced with bitterness. Lucian refused to leave him alone, injured and sick as he was. He'd made a vow years ago that he would help people in need, even if they were as stubborn as Killgrave seemed to be. Thunder crashed outside, bringing Lucian out of his thoughts. Lightning flashed behind the heavy curtains, casting ominous shadows. Killgrave whimpered in his sleep, almost rolling over onto his broken arm. Lucian grabbed him and gently rolled him back over onto his back. The blankets slipped down his body, revealing his bruised torso, slim yet muscled. Lucian could tell by the sound of his breathing that some of his ribs were broken.

'What a mess,' Lucian thought. 'Broken ribs, broken arm, split lip, a fever.'

He reached up and pulled the blankets back up over the other man's body, tucking them around him. Hopefully the medicine would start to take effect soon. Lucian ran a hand through his long hair worriedly. Killgrave needed more than just pills. He would need ice and heat packs for his bruises, cough medicine, food that would be easy on his stomach. Lucian was reluctant to leave Killgrave alone, so he took his phone out, and began ordering some supplies that could be delivered to the hotel room. He still had cash from some of the odd jobs he'd performed in other parts of the city, so money wasn't an issue at the moment. He placed his order, then stuck his phone back into his pocket. Killgrave was mumbling in his sleep, tossing his head side to side on the pillow.

"Please stop," he begged. "It hurts! Please make it stop."

Lucian frowned. He was all too familiar with nightmares. Killgrave seemed to be having an intense one. The lycan shifted closer and ran a hand through the younger man's sweaty hair. He seemed to relax at the touch. Lucian smiled slightly at the sight of Killgrave relaxing. He left the room for a second and came back quickly with a damp towel. He patted it carefully along Killgrave's brow and along the sides of his face, then draped it across his forehead. Killgrave's breathing evened out, his face relaxing. He was finally at ease, for the time being anyway. Lucian nodded in satisfaction just as a knock sounded at the door. He got up and answered it, revealing one of the hotel employees, holding a plastic bag of the supplies Lucian had ordered.

"These arrived for you, sir," the young man said.

"Thank you very much," Lucian replied, taking the bag from him and handing him some bills. "Keep the change."

The young man smiled and walked off. Lucian closed the door quietly and walked over to the room's kitchenette, placing the bag on the table. He began unloading the items he'd ordered-ice packs, a hot water bottle, stronger pain and fever reducers, cough syrup, plain crackers, a six-pack of ginger ale, and a few other odds and ends. He put the food and drinks away and put the meds in the bathroom. He came back into the main room, noting that Killgrave had stopped shivering and was now fast asleep, his face less flushed, his breathing raspy but even. The medicine seemed to be kicking in. 

Lucian smiled at the sight and sat down on the couch, kicking off his boots. He took his shirt off, grateful for the darkness because it hid his scars from view. He stretched out across the couch, draping his black jacket over himself and resting his head on the arm, keeping the bed within his sight. Killgrave was snoring quietly, but his brow was still furrowed. 

"Goodnight, Killgrave," Lucian murmured, closing his eyes, hoping for no nightmares.

Retching and coughing tore Lucian out of his sleep. He bolted upright, his jacket slipping of his body to the floor. He turned around and saw that Killgrave was still in bed, retching into the trashcan nearby. The bile was tinged with blood. Lucian quickly pulled his shirt back on and came over to the bed. He sat down beside the sick man, touching him very lightly on the shoulder. Killgrave glared at him with fever-bright eyes, wet with tears.

"Stop touching me," he snarled.

Lucian ignored him and touched his cheek, which seemed to anger him more. His fever had returned, full force. Killgrave coughed a few more times before he sighed and leaned back against his pillows, drawing the covers up over his shivering frame. Blood tinged the corners of his mouth, the cut on his lip oozing again. Lucian worried his bottom lip with his teeth and left the bed, vanishing into the bathroom. He came back out with the cough medicine, the painkillers, and a thermometer. Killgrave eyed him dubiously as the lycan switched on the thermometer.

"Put this in your mouth," Lucian instructed.

Killgrave growled, eyes flashing. "Stick it in your own mouth."

Lucian raised his eyebrows and sat back with a sigh. "I know you're in pain and sick, and even scared," he said quietly. "But I'm trying to help you, not hurt you. Please let me help you."

Killgrave stared at him for a few minutes, like he was trying to detect any deception in the statement. He held out his hand and accepted the thermometer, sticking it between his lips. It beeped after a minute and he handed it back to Lucian. The lycan took it and examined the reading, his brow creasing with worry.

"What does it say?" Killgrave asked, his voice gravelly.

"101.6," Lucian replied. "Way too high."

"Why I'm I so cold?" Killgrave whined, burrowing into the bed.

"You're very ill, Killgrave," Lucian murmured gently. "You were alone in the rain for God knows how long. It's a wonder you're not sicker."

"Everything hurts," Killgrave whispered, fidgeting with his injured arm.

"I have some meds that will help with that," Lucian said.

He shook some into his hand and offered them to Killgrave. He took them and swallowed them dry, then coughed again. Lucian cracked opened the bottle of cough syrup and poured some into the cap. Killgrave turned away petulantly.

"That stuff's gross," he complained.

"I know," Lucian replied. "But it will help the coughing, which I know is hurting your ribs."

Killgrave sighed through his nose and parted his lips for the syrup. He made a face as he swallowed and rolled onto his good side, shaking. Lucian attempted to stroke his hair and the younger man flinched away.

"Stop trying to touch me," he grumbled. "Why doesn't that work on you?"

"What do you mean?" Lucian asked, confused.

"Nothing," Killgrave grumbled.

He closed his eyes, curling in on himself. Lucian studied him for a minute-the angle of his strong jaw, his full lips, his perfectly arched eyebrows, his nose, his sharp, flushed cheekbones. He was so handsome, yet so callous and closed-off. Why? His deep brown eyes held so much sadness and pain, but Lucian could also sense a yearning in him, but for what he couldn't be sure. Killgrave's breathing evened out as he fell asleep again, his face still tense and stressed. Lucian reached over and stroked his hair, and Killgrave sighed at the touch. Lucian stayed with him a minute more before he left the room to go take a shower. He was determined to solve the puzzle that was Killgrave.


	3. Chapter 3

Killgrave could faintly hear the shower running as he shivered in bed. He'd hadn't felt sick like this ever. He hated it. Hated having someone look after him. Nobody had ever done that, never cared about him or his well-being. Lucian was probably just luring him into a false sense of security. He had to have some sort of ulterior motive. Everyone has a motive. Lucian's was just harder to figure out. 

'Why is he immune to my powers?' Killgrave thought. "First Jessica, now him?'

He groaned and curled up tighter, his ribs screaming in protest. He felt so cold despite the blankets, his whole body aching, his stomach squirming uncomfortably. His injured arm ached and felt stiff as a board as he shifted around. He cast his mind around, trying to distract himself. Did Jessica think he was dead? He hoped so. She'd probably kill him if she saw him again. Would Lucian still care about him even if he knew about all the horrible things he'd done? Definitely not. 

'I'm a monster,' Killgrave thought miserably. 'I don't deserve to be looked after like this.'

He'd never had these thoughts before. But he'd had a lot of time to think before Lucian had showed up in the alley. He deserved so much worse than just broken ribs and an arm. He deserved to die. Why hadn't Jessica killed him? Perhaps she wanted him to suffer, to live with the fear of looking over his shoulder for her for the rest of his life. Well, she'd succeeded. Now his nightmares were about all the things he'd done to her, the rape, controlling her, turning her into a slave. 

If he didn't dream about her, he dreamed he was a child again, screaming in pain as his parents extracted his spinal fluid. He still had scars across his back from the needles. Tears welled in Killgrave's eyes. A sob pushed its way out of his chest. Visions of all the things he'd done flashed through his mind. 

"I'm a monster," he murmured. "I bloody deserve this. Hell, I fucking deserve worse than this!"

The bed dipped suddenly, and a hand appeared on his leg over the blankets.

"No, you don't," Lucian whispered. "You're not a monster."

Killgrave opened his eyes. Lucian was sitting on the bed, wearing black jeans and a grey T-shirt. His thick hair was wet from his shower, his eyes gentle. Killgrave turned away, pressing his face into the pillow. 

"You don't even know me," he said, his voice muffled. "I am a monster. I've done so many horrible things to people."

"Monsters don't show remorse or guilt," Lucian replied. "They don't admit that they did bad things. They justify them."

"I did justify them for awhile," Killgrave admitted, turning his head a little to face Lucian. "But....now I realize just how wrong I was. I deserve what she did to me."

"She?" Lucian asked.

Killgrave froze, gathering the blankets in his fist, biting his lip. He hadn't meant for that to slip out. Lucian seemed to sense his hesitance.

"You don't have to tell me," he said quickly. "I just thought that it might make you feel better. If you talked about what you did."

Killgrave snorted. "Like a confession? You don't exactly look like a priest."

Lucian actually smiled, a light laugh escaping his lips. 

"We're going to be stuck with each other for awhile so you can recover," he said. "We might as well get to know each other."

Killgrave figured he had a point. Especially since his powers didn't seem to work on Lucian. Maybe that was a good thing. It was about time he formed a genuine friendship, formed out of solidarity rather than control. 

"I'll you something about me if you tell me something about you first," Killgrave said, rolling over onto his back. 

Lucian smiled again. "Fair enough. What do you want to know?"

"What are you doing in New York?" Killgrave asked. 

"I wanted to see the world," Lucian replied with a shrug. "See what else it has to offer. I traveled across Europe and arrived here last week. I've been performing odd jobs around the city, not really for the money but to help people." He leaned back on the bed. "Your turn. Who left you in that alley? Who hurt you?"

Killgrave sighed and ran his good hand through his damp hair. "Her name is Jessica Jones. I..." He swallowed, his mouth and throat dry. "I kept her as a sex slave for years, forced her to do things she didn't want to. I was delusional enough that I called it love. I was obsessed with her. But she didn't want me. She overpowered me, grew immune to my influence. She's the reason you found me in that alley last night. "

He kept his eyes low, not wanting to see the disgust and horror on Lucian's face. The silence was eerie, punctuated by the rain still falling from the grey morning sky. 

"What do you mean she grew immune to your influence?" Lucian finally asked. 

Killgrave slowly looked up. Lucian was watching him, curiosity on his face rather than disgust. Killgrave hesitated again, unsure how to explain his powers. Just the memories of how and why he had the powers were painful. The scars on his back crawled and itched. He cringed and closed his eyes, shaking his head.

"I'm sorry," he whispered. "I can't tell you. It's painful."

"I understand," Lucian replied quietly. "You should rest."

Killgrave laid down and curled up on his side, cradling his bad arm. The chills returned with fervor, his teeth nearly chattering. 

"It's so cold," he moaned. 

"I know," Lucian murmured sympathetically. "I don't have another blanket, but maybe this will help."

He draped his long black jacket over Killgrave. It still smelled like wet grass and wood-smoke, along with something sharp and musky. Killgrave's shivering subsided a little. He felt Lucian get up and go into the kitchen, rummaging around in the fridge. He came back and set something on the nightstand, then picked up the trashcan. Killgrave heard him cleaning it in the sink before he brought it back. 

He was so patient and kind. He didn't even flinch when Killgrave had told him about Jessica, about what he'd done to her. And there was still that sadness in his eyes, eyes that Killgrave still couldn't tell what color they were. They also had a look about them, a depth that made Killgrave think he'd seen worse things than finding a man sick and beaten in a gutter. 

"You're not a monster, Killgrave," Lucian said. "I've seen real monsters. I see one every time I look in the mirror."

Killgrave perked up a little at that admission. Lucian thought he was a monster? Why? He wanted to ask, but he felt so sleepy and exhausted. Killgrave started to drift off to sleep, and he felt Lucian leave the bed again. He whimpered. The other man's warmth was the only thing that kept the cold at bay. 

"Don't go," Killgrave protested groggily. "Please."

"I'm not leaving," Lucian told him. "I promise."

He walked away a few feet, and came back, placing something warm and soft on Killgrave's forehead. He sighed at the sensation, the warmth easing the pain in his head and chasing the chills away. He fell asleep, and this time it was dreamless.


	4. Chapter 4

Lucian balanced the hot water bottle on the crown of Killgrave's head, noting how relaxed he seemed now. His shivers had stopped, but his breathing was still raspy, most likely from his dry throat and his ribs. Lucian could tell from his breathing that he hadn't developed pneumonia, but knew that was still a possibility. He couldn't afford to leave him alone, which was a problem because the lycan was getting restless. He needed to hunt. He hadn't hunted in about two days, and his craving for meat was getting stronger. It was like a human trying to ignore a drug craving. There wasn't a lot of hunting ground in New York, so he settled for pigeons or the occasional deer. 

Lucian glanced down at his hand, the one not holding the hot water bottle against Killgrave's head. It was shaking like a leaf in a strong wind. 

"Damn," Lucian cursed, clenching his fist.

He glanced at Killgrave, sound asleep. The lycan slipped off the bed, both his hands shaking. He walked over to the couch and sat down, closing his eyes. He took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. It was something a kind homeless woman had taught him to do whenever he was stressed. It helped keep the worst of his cravings at bay. He had some meat in the fridge, which would hopefully tide him over until he could hunt for real. 

After taking a few more deep breaths, Lucian left the couch and opened the fridge. He removed a pack of already cooked steaks. Not as good as fresh meat, but it would help. He opened the pack at the table and started eating, the shakes disappearing as he did. His lycan side craved the richness of meat, the thrill of the hunt and the tang of the blood, but he couldn't lose control of himself in such a heavily populated area.

"I'll hunt once I know Killgrave will be okay alone,' Lucian thought, finishing two of the steaks. 'He's too sick for me to leave him.'

He finished his meat and put the remaining steaks back in the fridge. He sat back on the couch and studied Killgrave, looking more at peace. His admission of keeping a woman called Jessica Jones as a sex slave hadn't exactly surprised Lucian. He had encountered others guilty of the same thing, though neither of them showed remorse in their actions. Killgrave, however, was different. He seemed broken. He thought he was broken, thought he was a monster. But Lucian didn't believe that. He'd meant what he'd said when he'd told Killgrave he wasn't a monster. Lucian knew what monsters were. He'd been enslaved by one, lashed by one. He saw one each time he looked in the mirror. 

'Viktor was a monster,' Lucian thought. 'And in turn, he created one. Me.'

Lucian knew what he was-a monster, a creature that people wrote and told stories about to scare each other. He'd killed and wished he hadn't, but had killed and been glad he'd done so. But each life he took or saw get taken haunted his dreams at night. Sonja's death especially. He blamed himself for her death. If he had kept himself at bay, stayed away from her, maybe she'd still be alive. He killed her. He knew that much. She was the reason he'd pledged to help people in need. He didn't help her when she'd needed him the most, but he could help others. He could help Killgrave. 

"Even if he doesn't believe he deserves it," Lucian whispered, glancing at the sleeping man again.

Killgrave shifted in his sleep, an abrupt movement, like he was trying to dodge something. The hot water bottle slipped off his forehead. His face twisted with pain and fear. 

"Please, stop, please," he whimpered, curling up on his side. "It hurts! Stop, please!"

Lucian rushed over to the bed, grabbing Killgrave before he rolled onto his bad arm. At his touch, Killgrave's eyes opened. They were wide and unfocused, wet with tears. He grabbed the front of Lucian's grey T-shirt desperately.

"It hurts," he gasped. "They're hurting me! Please make them stop!"

"Nobody's hurting you, Killgrave," Lucian told him soothingly, gripping his wrists. "You're just dreaming. I won't let anyone hurt you."

Killgrave's skin radiated heat, his bruised body sweating heavily. Lucian could feel his racing heartbeat under his skin. Tears dripped down Killgrave's cheeks, his split lip trembling. His knuckles were white as they gripped the front of the lycan's shirt.

"Lie back down, Killgrave," Lucian coaxed quietly. 

He guided the younger man to lie back, pulling the blankets up over his body again. Killgrave's eyes closed again, but he still seemed scared and distressed. Lucian picked up the bottle of water he'd placed on the nightstand and opened it, pouring some onto a towel he grabbed from the bathroom. He patted the sides of Kilgrave's face and his forehead, keeping his touch gentle. Killgrave eventually relaxed little by little, though he still mumbled to himself, the fever taking hold with force. Lucian sat on the bed the whole time, wiping his face with cool, damp towels and cloths, whispering things to help soothe his delusional state. He'd never seen someone in such pain, both physically and emotionally. 

"Just relax, Killgrave," Lucian murmured. "Everything's going to be alright."

Killgrave's fever made him delusional for twenty-four hours before it finally broke. Lucian was just waking up himself from where he'd been dozing on the couch when he heard Killgrave grunt. The lycan sat up and saw the younger man wide awake, running his hand through his messy hair and along the stubble peppering his sharp jaw. 

"You're awake," Lucian said, coming over to the bed. "How do you feel?"

"Better," Killgrave replied. "A lot better." His stomach growled suddenly. "And hungry apparently."

Lucian laughed. "I have some crackers and bread if you want."

"That sounds good," Killgrave said. "Thanks."

Lucian went into the kitchenette and opened the cabinets, taking out a packet of plain crackers and a loaf of bread. He plated them and buttered a few slices, then came back over and offered the plate to Killgrave. 

"Thank you," he said, taking the food. 

"You're welcome," Lucian replied.

Killgrave ate quickly. Lucian wondered how long it had been since he'd eaten. The younger man polished off the crackers and bread and sighed, wiping at his lips.

"I feel better," he told Lucian. "Thank you." He hesitated at the words. "It's been a long time since anyone's looked after me like this."

"It's no trouble," Lucian assured him. "Like I said. I made a vow to help people in need."

"Why?" Killgrave asked. "Why do you help people just like that?"

Lucian stroked his jaw thoughtfully. "I was enslaved years ago by a tyrant," he explained slowly, haltingly. "He kept me and my people underfoot for years until I led a rebellion. But people lost their lives. Innocent people." His voice cracked when he thought of Sonja. "After that, it was then that I vowed to help the downtrodden and the repressed."

"Your people?" Killgrave asked. "Are you like a member of a tribe or something?"

"In a way," Lucian responded. "Not anymore."

He didn't feel like elaborating, and Killgrave seemed to understand, because he changed the subject quickly. 

"I'm sorry if I said anything during my...delusions," he said. "Anything that may have been insulting."

"You didn't," Lucian assured him. "You just kept saying that people were hurting you and that you wanted them to stop."

Killgrave blushed all the way down to his neck. He looked away, rubbing his neck self-consciously.

"It's alright, Killgrave," Lucian told him quietly. "I have nightmares too."

"Really?" Killgrave turned around. 

"Yes," Lucian replied. "Sometimes every night."

Killgrave's eyes glinted in sympathy. "I've had nightmares since I was a kid. They only got worse as I got older."

"So did mine," Lucian said. 

It felt good to share a part of his past and his pain with someone else. Maybe he and Killgrave had more in common than he previously thought.

Killgrave ran a hand through his hair again and fidgeted with his sling. 

"How am I supposed to shower with this thing?" he asked.

"I think I can help," Lucian said. "Here."

He unwound the sling from Killgrave's arm, examining the bandages, making sure they weren't too tight. He went into the kitchen and opened one of the drawers, removing some plastic wrap and some tape. 

"This should help keep your bandages dry," Lucian said. "Give me your arm please."

Killgrave obeyed and held his arm out, wincing a little. Lucian gently bound the bandages with the plastic, taping it shut for maximum protection. 

"Thanks," Killgrave said, wriggling his fingers. 

"Do you need help getting into the shower?" Lucian asked carefully.

Killgrave blushed again, brown eyes low. "I don't know. Maybe."

"It's alright," Lucian coaxed. "I'll close my eyes if you want me to."

Killgrave nodded and kicked the blankets off. His bruises were still black-and-purple, marring the pale skin of his chest. He hissed as he stood up and walked toward the bathroom. Lucian followed and opened the door for him. 

"If you need anything, I'll be out here," he said. 

"Okay," Killgrave said, still blushing. "Thanks."

He slipped into the bathroom, closing the door behind him.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had some free time, so I thought I'd post another chapter! Enjoy!

Killgrave leaned against the bathroom door, scrubbing his good hand across his face. He tried to will the blush still warming his cheeks. Why was he reacting this way? He never blushed. He sighed and ran his fingers through the stubble along his jaw, then turned on the shower, letting it get nice and hot, fogging up the mirror. He awkwardly peeled his boxers off and pushed the curtain aside, sighing as the hot water hit his aching chest. It felt like heaven on his bruises. Killgrave rested his head against the wet tile, luxuriating in it. His wrapped arm would make it hard to wash his hair, so he just hung his head under the spray. 

'Lucian seems too good to be true,' Killgrave thought. 'He's honest, patient, kind. Certainly not from around here.'

He stepped out from under the water, shaking his wet hair off his face. Bottles of shampoo, conditioner, and body wash lined the shelf inside the shower.

'With hair like that of course he uses conditioner,' Killgrave thought with a chuckle.

He turned off the shower and pushed the curtain aside again, carefully stepping over the tub. A robe that he was pretty sure hadn't been there before was folded on the sink. Did Lucian put that there? Killgrave blushed again and growled at the warmth spreading across his cheeks, down his neck. He picked up his boxers and pulled them on with just a little bit of trouble, then attempted to put on the robe, but it was tough to do with one arm. He sighed and gritted his teeth. He needed help. 

"Lucian?" Killgrave called out hesitantly.

"Yes?" Lucian responded from the other side of the door. "Is everything alright?"

"I need help putting the robe on," Killgrave replied, feeling like his cheeks were on fire.

Lucian slowly opened the door, peeking in with his eyes closed. 

"I'm not naked," Killgrave told him. "You can open your eyes."

Lucian did and stepped closer, the sling for Killgrave's arm on his shoulder. 

"Let's take the plastic off first," he said. "Then we can put your arm back in the sling."

Killgrave held his arm out, letting Lucian remove the taped-shut plastic wrap from his bandages. The older man then bound the arm with the sling again, then helped Killgrave slip his bad arm through the robe sleeve and tied the belt for him. He stood close enough to Killgrave that the younger man could smell the ceder-wood scent of his skin, see how soft his long hair looked. Killgrave wondered what it would feel like to run his fingers through the thick locks. The thought made him blush once again. 

"You okay?" Lucian asked suddenly. "You look flushed."

"M'fine," Killgrave mumbled. "Thanks."

"Of course," Lucian said, a smile on his lips. "I have some clothes waiting for you, if you want."

The thought of Lucian helping him dress made Killgrave's heart race. He shifted his weight anxiously. 

"I'm okay for now," he said. "Thanks."

Lucian nodded and stepped back. Killgrave noticed that his hands were shaking. He raised an eyebrow.

"Are you okay?" he asked. "Your hands are shaking."

Lucian looked down at his hands, as if he were noticing them for the first time, and cursed under his breath. 

"Excuse me for a second," he muttered, darting out of the room.

Killgrave raised both his eyebrows and lingered in the bathroom for a minute before opening the door. He walked out into the main room and saw Lucian on the couch, eyes closed, hands clenched against his thighs, breathing deeply. His whole body was taut as a spring ready to launch. His breathing was a little shaky, and his hands were still shaking.

"Are you sure you're alright?" Killgrave asked tentatively, approaching the couch. "You don't look so good."

Lucian managed a breathless laugh. "I'll be fine, Killgrave. I just need to relax."

He took some more deep breaths, and Killgrave couldn't help but notice the shadows under his eyes. Was he sleep deprived? Or deprived of something?

"Do you need anything?" Killgrave asked. "Water, or something?"

Lucian shook his head. His jaw was tense, and Killgrave could tell he was gritting his teeth. 

"Will you be okay by yourself?" Lucian asked suddenly, his voice sounding a little off. 

"I think so," Killgrave answered, raising an eyebrow. "Why?"

"I need to....take care of something," Lucian explained. "Something that I've been putting off for a few days."

"Okay," Killgrave said, leaning against the couch. "How long would you be gone?"

"Maybe a few hours," Lucian answered. "I should be back by tonight."

"Alright," Killgrave agreed. "I think I'll be okay alone."

Lucian let out a sigh that sounded like relief and stood up from the couch. He pulled on his boots, his hands still shaking. He tied some of his hair back with a length of black ribbon, then moved toward the door. 

"I'll leave the room key here," he said. "The clothes I ordered for you are in a bag in the closet. I'll be back tonight." He hesitated as he opened the door and looked back over his shoulder. His eyes seemed troubled. He worried his bottom lip between his teeth, which looked like they were getting sharper. He quickly left the room, and Killgrave could hear him running down the hallway. What was he in such a hurry for?

"That was weird," Killgrave murmured. 

The room seemed oddly...empty without Lucian. He'd been at Killgrave's side for two days. It felt weird to be alone. Killgrave took a deep breath, determined not to panic about being alone. He walked over to the closet and opened the door. Sure enough, there was a plastic bag full of folded clothes inside, along with a few clothing items of Lucian's-some T-shirts, a couple long-sleeves, a black fleece hoodie. Killgrave opened the bag and removed two pairs of jeans, one pair blue, the other black, along with a couple of button-down shirts, three short-sleeved shirts, and a hoodie. They were all in his size. Killgrave couldn't help but smile as he slowly got dressed in the blue jeans and one of the short-sleeved shirts. It was easier to move his arm without the plastic wrap. 

"How did he know what size I was?" Killgrave asked, zipping the jeans up.

He looked in the closet and noticed some other clothes at the bottom of it. He picked them up and realized that they were the clothes he'd been wearing when Lucian had found him in the alley. They were torn and bloody, stained with vomit. He found his wallet still in the pocket of his pants, and was shocked that his money and credit card was still in there. His phone was still in there, but Jessica had smashed it during her attack. 

'Probably for the best,' Killgrave thought.

He hung the robe up in the closet and walked away, exploring the room. The kitchenette was stocked with bread, crackers, bottles of water and ginger ale, butter, cheese, etc. There was a package of steaks in the fridge, two of them already gone. Did Lucian eat them?

'Guy must have a hell of an appetite,' Killgrave thought, grabbing one of ginger ales.

He sipped the drink as he flopped down onto the couch. There were a couple of books on the coffee table, next to the TV remote. Killgrave turned on the TV and flipped through the channels, but there wasn't much on late in the afternoon, so he turned it off. He sighed, tipping his head back on the couch. He stared at the ceiling, unable to get Lucian out of his head. What was he doing? What had he been putting off while he'd been caring for Killgrave? He seemed too pure to be a drug addict or a sex worker. Maybe someone he knew was in trouble. Did he have a family somewhere? 

"Why is he immune to my powers?" Killgrave asked himself.

Jessica was the only one immune to him fully, and that was because she'd slowly built up a tolerance to his influence. But he and Lucian had never met before. Maybe he was just as strong mentally as he was physically. Killgrave blushed again at the thought Lucian picking him up with those strong, scarred arms of his. He picked up one of the books off the table and flipped it open. The pages were old and yellowed with age, the leather soft against Killgrave's fingers. The book talked about a rebellion of lycans, werewolves, Killgrave realized, and their fight against the vampires that enslaved them. It was a captivating story. Killgrave couldn't put the book down all afternoon. It was the only distraction he had from Lucian's absence. Later that evening, he made himself a meal of toast and cheese. It started to rain again, and Lucian still wasn't back.

'I hope he's okay,' Killgrave thought worriedly. 

He stayed up watching TV, something he often did because he was scared to go to sleep. The nightmares were so vivid sometimes. It was like he could still feel the needles being pushed into his back, the feel of Jessica punching him, stomping on him, breaking his ribs. He could hear her crying, telling him to stop as he forced himself on her. What he would give to apologize to her, as if she'd accept an apology. Lightning lit up the room for a second, and Killgrave whimpered. He turned off the TV and burrowed into the bed. His face pressed against something soft, smelling like wood-smoke and ceder wood and wet grass. Lucian's jacket. He grabbed it, ignoring the heat blooming across his face as he wrapped the jacket around himself. He curled up on his good side, and fell asleep quickly, unperturbed by the storm or nightmares.

Killgrave woke abruptly when he heard the door opening. He blearily lifted his head from the pillow, rubbing at his eyes. It was still raining outside, but the storm seemed to be passing. He blinked the sleep out of his eyes and saw Lucian locking the door behind him. His clothes were wet from the rain, his hair tangled. He was breathing heavily as he stumbled from the door and toward the couch, where he flopped down onto it with a sigh. Was he drunk?

"Are you okay?" Killgrave asked. 

Lucian didn't answer, but he gave a thumbs up before his breathing evened out. Killgrave was impressed that he was able to fall asleep that fast. He seemed better than he'd been a couple hours ago, so Killgrave laid back down and went back to sleep. He felt like he'd only just closed his eyes before whimpering and crying broke into his sleep. He sat up in bed, looking over at the couch, where the noises were coming from. 

"Lucian?" Killgrave asked. "Are you alright?"

More whimpering. Killgrave left his bed and came over to the couch. Lucian was twitching, his face full of pain and anguish. Tears leaked down his face, and blood slicked the corners of his mouth and chin. 

"Sonja," he cried out. "No, not Sonja, please!"

"Lucian, wake up," Killgrave urged. "You're having a nightmare."

He touched the older man's shoulder, but he rolled away from the touch and onto the floor. His whimpers were changing pitch, sounding more like snarls. Lucian bared his teeth, which were definitely getting sharper. His nails were lengthening, becoming claws. Killgrave's heart began to race. What the hell was happening? Lucian let out a howl that made the hairs along Killgrave's neck and arm stand on end.

"I'm sorry, Sonja," Lucian sobbed, his voice thick with grief. "I'm so sorry."

"Lucian, please wake up," Killgrave said, kneeling on the ground beside the man. "Wake up, Lucian." He shook the older man's shoulder.

The older man's eyes flew open, wild and bright with tears. He scrambled backward across the carpet, chest heaving for breath. 

"Don't look at me," he gasped. "I'm a monster!"

"No, you're not," Killgrave said gently. "I'm not scared, Lucian. Just calm down. Breathe."

Lucian took several deep breaths, his teeth and nails slowly going back to normal. He hurriedly wiped the tears off his face and the blood off his chin. Silence hung between them, until Killgrave broke it.

"Are you okay?" he asked quietly.

Lucian nodded, not looking up from the carpet. Killgrave crawled on his knees and sat by him. Lucian's breathing was steady, as were his hands. He shook some of his hair off his face. revealing how tired and haggard he suddenly looked. Killgrave had so many questions about what the fuck had just happened, but could tell by the look on Lucian's face that that was the last thing he needed. 

"You should get some sleep," Killgrave whispered. 

"Good idea," Lucian replied, his voice low.

He stood up from the floor, helping Killgrave up as well. He walked over to the couch and laid down, curling up like he wanted to hide from Killgrave's gaze. 

"Are you sure you're alright?" Killgrave asked, returning to the bed.

Lucian nodded but didn't say anything. Killgrave laid back down and pulled the covers up to his chest, keeping Lucian within his sight as he closed his eyes.


	6. Chapter 6

Lucian was beyond mortified when he woke up the next morning. Sunlight sliced into the room and he cringed when as he remembered the events of last night. He'd had a nightmare in front of Killgrave and had almost unleashed his wolf form in the process. 

'Oh, what he must think of me now,' Lucian thought, curling up tighter on the couch. 

Sometimes hunting made his nightmares more vivid, though he wasn't sure why. The hunt last night had gone on longer than he'd wanted it to because the prey he'd been chasing-a doe that Lucian managed to separate from its herd, had been faster than he'd expected, leading him on a chase that last half hour before he caught it. Afterward, it was just a matter of changing back to his human form, cleaning himself up, and catching a cab back to the hotel. He should've foreseen the consequences.

"Lucian?" Killgrave's voice cut into his thoughts. "Are you awake?"

Lucian could hear the hesitance coloring his voice. In truth, he was surprised that Killgrave was still there. He slowly sat up on the couch and turned around. Killgrave was sitting up in bed, the blankets pooled around his waist. The bruises on his chest were fading, though his arm was still bound in bandages and a sling. His brown hair was tousled from sleep, his jaw covered in a carpet of stubble. His deep brown eyes studied Lucian with an intensity that made him squirm. 

"Are you okay?" he asked carefully.

"Yes," Lucian answered. "I'm fine now." He licked his lips as he considered his next words. "I'm sorry about last night. I didn't mean for that to happen."

"It's alright, Lucian," Killgrave told him. "Really it is. You've been comforting me during my nightmares, so it's about time I returned the favor." He bit down lightly on his still-wounded bottom lip. "But what was that other stuff? The fangs and the snarling? Who's Sonja?"

Lucian ran a hand through his tangled hair. "I'm not sure how to answer that without scaring you."

"I'm not scared," Killgrave protested. Lucian raised his eyebrows, and the younger man relented. 

"Alright, sure I was a little...freaked out last night, but I'm not scared, Lucian. I promise."

Lucian sighed and crossed his arms over the back of the couch, resting his chin on them. He knew that Killgrave deserved answers, but how could he tell him what he was, about the disaster that was his past? Lucian studied the pattern of the carpet for several minutes. Killgrave shifted in bed, swinging his long legs to the floor. He rested his good arm on his knee, leaning forward a little.

"How long have you been in New York, did you say?" he asked.

"Only a week," Lucian replied, intrigued by the subject change. "Why?"

"Have you done any sightseeing?" 

"Not really," Lucian said. "I've only been a few places. Central Park, Statue of Liberty."

"I could show you around," Killgrave offered. "I've been in the city a long time. I know a lot of cool places."

"Okay," Lucian agreed. "That sounds kind of nice, actually. But aren't you worried that Jessica might see you?"

Killgrave stood up and walked over to the closet, removing the blue hoodie that Lucian had bought him. 

"I'll wear this," he said. "Keep the hood up the whole time, yeah?"

Lucian smiled. "Alright." 

Fifteen minutes later, Lucian and Killgrave were walking across the Brooklyn Bridge. It was a sunny day, the sky eye-achingly blue and cloudless. There were other people on the bridge, couples holding hands, chatting quietly, families with young children, people dressed in jogging gear and headphones. The air smelled fresh from the recent rains, carrying other scents of wet leaves, car exhaust, fresh earth. Lucian loved being outside, either in his lycan form or his human one. He loved feeling the sunlight on his skin, the wind in his hair, all the different smells and sounds. He looked over at Killgrave, walking beside him, dressed in black jeans and a blue hoodie, the hood pulled up over his head. He held his bound arm against his chest as they walked. As much as Lucian loved the view of the city and the opportunity to sight-see, he was curious as to why Killgrave hadn't pushed him for answers regarding last night. 

"What do you think?" Killgrave asked, nudging Lucian's shoulder. 

"It's nice out here," Lucian said, a smile pulling at his lips. "I've always loved being outdoors."

"I can tell," Killgrave replied. "You don't get the kind of muscles you have from sitting around inside."

He choked, as if not realizing he'd said those words, and blushed a brilliant red. Lucian laughed out loud. Killgrave cursed under his breath and looked away, scratching at his stubble. Lucian found his embarrassment rather adorable. He nudged Killgrave's shoulder, and he looked over again.

"Sorry," he said. "I don't know what came over me."

Lucian snickered. "It's alright, Killgrave."

They walked across the bridge in silence for a few minutes, until Lucian spoke again.

"As mush as I appreciate this, why didn't you press me about last night? I know you have questions."

"I do," Killgrave admitted. "But I figured that whatever you were dreaming about must be really personal, so I thought of a sort of...game we could play, if you want."

"Okay," Lucian said. "What's the game?"

"I take you sightseeing whenever I can, and in turn we each share something about ourselves," Killgrave explained. "So, once we reach the end of the bridge, I ask you a question and you share, then you ask me one and I share. Deal?"

Lucian was incredibly interested now. Getting to know this man and sightseeing in New York? That sounded more fun than just brooding over his troubles. 

"Deal," Lucian agreed. 

Killgrave grinned, his brown eyes sparkling. Lucian felt a fluttery sensation in his stomach at the sight. They reached the end of the bridge and faced each other. Lucian tucked his hands into the pockets of his long jacket. Killgrave tapped his fingers against his bound arm, chewing his lip like he considering his question.

After a few minutes, he finally asked, "Who's Sonja?"

Lucian was afraid he'd ask that question. He licked his lips and shifted his weight a little. 

"She was my wife," he explained. "We met when we were young, but her father didn't approve of our relationship. He often punished me for spending time with her."

"What happened to her?" Killgrave asked, quietly.

"She died," Lucian replied just as quietly. "Many years ago." His voice cracked with emotion.

"Lucian, I'm so sorry," Killgrave whispered, stepping closer and putting his hand on the lycan's arm. 

"It's alright," Lucian responded, wiping the moisture from his eyes quickly.

Killgrave rubbed his arm gently. His touch was carefully, his hand warm through the material of Lucian's jacket. 

"Your turn," Killgrave said after a minute. He stepped backward a little. "Ask away."

Lucian wondered so many things about Killgrave, mostly why had he asked about Sonja? Lucian would've thought that his snarling and claws would have drawn more attention. Instead, the lycan asked, "Killgrave isn't your real name is it?"

"No," Killgrave admitted. "I changed it years ago, to hide my identity." 

"Why?" Lucian asked.

"My parents killed who I was a long time ago," Killgrave explained, his voice full of bitterness. "Or, maybe I did. Anyway, I changed my name to match what I became. A monster, a...terrible person."

"You're not a terrible person or a monster," Lucian said, stepping closer to him. Lowering his voice, he asked, "What's your real name?"

"Kevin," Killgrave answered, his voice barely audible.

"Is it okay if I hug you, Kevin?" Lucian asked.

Killgrave nodded, tears welling up in his eyes. Lucian gently pulled him into a hug, resting his against the younger man's shoulder. Killgrave sobbed, pressing his face into the crook of Lucian's neck, holding onto him tightly with his good arm. They stayed like that for a long time, embracing each other under the glare of the brilliant sun, on the other side of the Brooklyn Bridge. After a while, they separated, Killgrave wiping hurriedly at his eyes, sniffling. Lucian rubbed his shoulder soothingly.

"You okay?" he asked

Killgrave nodded. "Yeah, I'm okay." He wiped more tears off his face. "Now what do we do?"

Lucian thought about that for a minute. There was something that they needed to discuss, something that Killgrave needed to be aware of should it ever happen, though Lucian prayed that it wouldn't.

"We should go back to the hotel," he told Killgrave. "There's something I should tell inside rather than in public."

"Alright," Killgrave agreed.


	7. Chapter 7

Killgrave was nervous for some reason as they entered the hotel room. Lucian had been quiet on the ride back, his face brooding and troubled. Killgrave wondered what he was thinking. The sadness in his eyes was more pronounced now, especially after talking about Sonja. 

'He must have really love her still,' Killgrave thought to himself, feeling a pain in his chest that he couldn't explain.

He was also curious about Lucian's...transformation last night. The fangs, the claws, the snarling, the blood-curdling howl that had left his lips. What was he? Was that why he considered himself a monster? Killgrave seated himself on the couch, tossing the hood of his sweater back as he did. He knew it was risky to walk around in broad daylight, even with his face covered. If Jessica or anyone else saw him and realized that he was still alive, he was dead for sure. But he didn't like being cooped up anywhere for too long. It brought back memories from his miserable childhood, stuck inside all the time while his parents basically tortured him. He shuddered at the memories and pushed them away, looking up at Lucian, who was still standing, looking incredibly nervous.

"Are you okay?" Killgrave asked, keeping his voice low, as if talking to a skittish animal.

"Yes," Lucian replied, sounding anxious. "I'm just not quite sure how to say this."

Killgrave crossed one leg over the other and patted the seat next to him. 

"Sit down," he said, not bothering to use his powers. He'd given up on that two days ago. "Sit down and relax. Collect yourself."

Lucian nodded and sat down, scrubbing both his hands across his face and through his hair. He'd tied it back with a black ribbon, but strands still fell across his face, curling near his ears. Killgrave had to resist the urge to reach out and tuck some of the soft-looking strands behind the older man's ear. Lucian let out a deep breath and faced Killgrave directly.

"What you saw last night is something I pray you never see again," he said. "I'm a lycan, Killgrave. A werewolf, if you prefer."

Killgrave felt his eyes widen. He hadn't been expecting that. Although, what had he been expecting? Lucian was watching him closely, like he was waiting for him to start freaking out. But strangely, Killgrave didn't feel afraid. Lucian was kind and gentle, even if he wasn't entirely a human. He'd cared for Killgrave, been patient with him, provided comfort when he needed it. Hell, he was one of the very few people who knew his real name. It had been so long since Killgrave had told anyone what his real name was, even longer since anyone had ever called him anything but Killgrave, along with a few other, less flattering names.

"Thank you for telling me, Lucian," Killgrave said. "I know that must have been hard for you to tell me."

"You're welcome," Lucian replied. "I just thought that you should know, in case I..." He trailed off, biting his lip.

"In case what?" Killgrave coaxed gently.

"In case I lose control," Lucian answered, softly. "It doesn't happen often, but it can. Especially in highly stressful or dangerous situations." 

"Like last night," Killgrave remembered. "You were dreaming."

"Yes," Lucian agreed. "Hunting sometimes makes my dreams more vivid, and in turn, my lycan form comes out sometimes."

"Hunting?" Killgrave asked. "Is that why you were gone?"

Lucian sighed, rubbing his jaw. "My lycan side craves meat almost all the time. Prepared meat usually takes care of worst of the cravings, but hunting is what helps the most."

"Is that why you were shaking?" Killgrave asked, remembering.

"Yes," Lucian replied. "If I ignore the need too long, I can get restless. Even dangerous."

He whispered the last word, looking away from Killgrave, picking at a loose thread on his jacket. Killgrave hesitated a brief minute before he reached over and placed his hand on Lucian's shoulder, squeezing a little. Lucian looked back over, shock written all over his face.

"I'm not scared of you, Lucian," Killgrave whispered. "I need you to know that."

Relief filled the lycan's eyes. "Thank you, Killgrave."

"You can call me Kevin, if you like," Killgrave told him. "I don't mind."

"Alright," Lucian smiled. "Do you have any questions?"

Killgrave had many, but there was one in particular that he wanted to ask right then. 

"Were you in your lycan form when you first found me?" he asked. "At first I thought it was just a stray dog."

"Technically, no," Lucian answered. 

Killgrave raised an eyebrow, urging him to continue.

"I have two forms," Lucian explained. "One that's monstrous and extremely powerful, and the other is more docile. It's the form I use to play with some of the school children in the park. That was the form I was in when I found you."

Killgrave was intrigued. "Could I see the docile form?"

When Lucian didn't answer, Killgrave added, "You don't have to show me if you don't want to."

"No, it's alright," Lucian said. "I prefer you see that form than the other one. Just give me a minute."

He stood up from the couch and kicked off his boots, then took a deep breath. 

"Close your eyes, Kevin," he instructed.

Killgrave obeyed reluctantly. He heard Lucian exhale, then heard popping and cracking, the sounds of bones realigning, joints shifting. When the noise stopped, something warm and slightly heavy jumped up on the couch next to Killgrave. He opened his eyes and found himself face to face with a large wolf with thick dark fur. Its body was larger and more muscled than a normal wolf's, but otherwise it could've been mistaken for a well-fed stray or a pet. The eyes were a deep, onyx-black, but so much more expressive than a normal animal's. The wolf whined, placing a paw on Killgrave's leg.

"Wow," he said. 

Lucian tilted his head, ears twitching. 

"Wow in a good way," Killgrave clarified. "I like this form. It's cute."

Lucian let out a pleased bark, and Killgrave laughed. 

"Thank you for sharing this with me," he said. "So what do you want to do tomorrow? Go to the Met? I still have some tickets that I haven't used."

Lucian barked again, tail wagging. Killgrave laughed again and reached out, scratching him behind the ears. The fur was rougher than it looked, but warm against his hand. Lucian leaned into the touch, panting. Killgrave did that for a few seconds before he stood up and walked into the kitchenette.

"You want to change back so you can eat at the table with me?" he asked.

Lucian jumped over the back of the couch and vanished from view for a second, then sprung back up in his human form, fully dressed but barefoot. He smiled as he joined Killgrave in the kitchen.

"You sit down," he said, pulling out one of the chairs at the table. "Your arm is still healing."

Killgrave rolled his eyes but sat down. Lucian heated up the two remaining steaks from the fridge, pairing them with potatoes sprinkled with black pepper. Killgrave was grateful for the food after eating nothing but bread and crackers for two days. He was also impressed with Lucian's cooking skills.

"Thanks for dinner," he told Lucian later that evening, as he was getting ready for bed. "You're a good cook."

"You're welcome," Lucian replied. "And thank you."

Killgrave went into the bathroom to brush his teeth with the brush and paste Lucian had purchased for him, then came back out, wiping his mouth with a towel. Lucian was on the couch, stretched out on his back, fingers laced behind his head. Killgrave made his way over to bed, feeling a little guilty for using it while Lucian slept on the couch. Especially after what had happened last night. 

"Hey," Killgrave said.

Lucian looked over at him. "What is it?"

"Do you wanna sleep here tonight?" Killgrave asked, blushing furiously. "After last night, maybe you should sleep somewhere more comfortable."

"Are you sure?" Lucian asked, sitting up. "I don't want to make you uncomfortable."

"It's fine," Killgrave assured him. "I promise. There's plenty of space, so we should be okay."

Lucian seemed to think about that for a minute. He went into the bathroom, where Killgrave could hear him changing form again. He came back out in his docile form and carefully leaped up onto the bed. He walked around in circles a few time before settling down, curling up a little. Killgrave smiled at the sight and switched off the lamp, then laid down, rolling over to face Lucian. The wolf was sound asleep, and Killgrave couldn't resist reaching over and digging his fingers into the rich dark fur at the scruff of the neck. The wolf made a pleased sound at the touch, and Killgrave closed his eyes, his hand still buried in the thick fur. Neither of them had nightmares that night.


	8. Chapter 8

Lucian had never been to a museum before. He preferred reading and exploring on his own, but he found himself enraptured as he and Killgrave walked with a group tour at the Met that afternoon. They were walking through an exhibit full of antique weapons and armor inside glass cases behind velvet ropes. The group was a small one, mostly college-age people, along with a few older adults. Lucian looked over at Killgrave, or Kevin, as Lucian now called him. He had the hood of his sweater pulled up over his head, a pair of sunglasses hanging from the collar. The stubble along his jaw was growing thicker, and he scratched at it irritably every now and then. His right arm was still bound in the sling, but was slowly getting better, as were his broken ribs. He was eating better and breathing better everyday. Lucian felt protective of him now, especially since Killgrave had accepted the fact that he was a lycan. 

'I still pray he never sees me lose control,' Lucian thought to himself. 

His docile form was the only form he'd let Killgrave see if he could help it. He shuddered at the thought of unleashing his monstrous form in front of him. Lucian directed his attention back to the tour for a moment, as they were about to cross over into another exhibit. When he looked over at Killgrave again, Lucian's heart seized. Killgrave was gone! The group filed into the next exhibit, but Lucian lagged behind, heart racing as he looked around. Surely Jessica hadn't seen him and attacked? Lucian's senses would've picked up on it. He backtracked further, inhaling deeply through his nose, trying to pick out Killgrave's scent among the others milling about the room. 

"Kevin?" Lucian asked, trying to keep his voice low. "Where are you?"

Panic started to build within him as he moved back toward the other exhibits. Suddenly, he heard a door open and turned around. Relief flooded through him when he saw Killgrave leaning out of the door, the hood of his sweater down. He smiled when he saw Lucian.

"There you are," he said. "This way. I want to show you something."

"Don't scare me like me that," Lucian said, walking over. "I thought someone had taken you."

"Sorry," Killgrave told him. "I was trying to find the right door."

Lucian looked at the door and noticed that it read 'MONET EXHIBIT'. He raised his eyebrows but followed Killgrave inside. Their footsteps echoed in the empty hall as they walked.

"Are we allowed to be in here?" Lucian asked.

"Technically, no," Killgrave replied. "But I wanted to show one of my favorite pieces in here."

Lucian was torn between indignation and interest, but the latter outweighed the former. He followed Killgrave through another door and into a wide, open, empty room. Beautiful canvases of water lilies lined the walls, making Lucian feel calm and serene. He walked closer to the paintings, taking them in. Killgrave came over to stand next to him.

"Monet's water lilies," he said. "My favorite piece here."

"It's beautiful," Lucian whispered. "Like being in a different world."

He looked over at Killgrave. "Why is it your favorite piece?"

The younger man fidgeted with his sling for a minute, then said, "I used to come to this exhibit all the time when I first arrived in New York. I'd sit in here for hours, just staring at them. It would relax me, let me forget my troubles for awhile." He chuckled lightly. "I haven't brought anyone here with me before."

"Really?" Lucian asked. "Why?" He felt very honored to know that.

Killgrave rubbed his neck. "I dunno. I guess I just thought nobody would appreciate it or think it's stupid."

"I don't think it's stupid, Kevin," Lucian said, touching his arm. "I think it's beautiful."

Killgrave smiled, his brown eyes shining. He sat down on one of the benches nearby, patting the space beside him. Lucian grinned and sat down next to him, where they both studied the paintings before them. Killgrave's good hand rested on his leg, and Lucian bit back the urge to reach out and take it, same as the urge to wrap an arm around his shoulders. Killgrave let out a deep sigh, like he'd been holding his breath. 

"It's actually been a long time since I've been here,'" he admitted quietly. "I'd forgotten how much I like it."

Lucian wasn't sure what to say to that, so he remained quiet. They stayed in the room for a long time, until eventually, Killgrave stood up, scratching at his facial hair. 

"What do you say to lunch in Central Park?" he asked. "I know a great place nearby."

Lucian laughed and stood up. "That sounds great. Lead the way."

The two headed out of the Monet exhibit and exited the Met. It was a bustling day like usual, the sidewalks packed with people, the roads full of cars and taxis, honking in the traffic. Killgrave pulled the hood of his sweater up again as they headed down the museum's steps and toward Central Park. Lucian found himself looking around for anyone acting strange or looking at them too obviously. So far they'd lucked out in Killgrave not being recognized in public, but Lucian was still nervous that it could still happen. He didn't fully relax until the rich greenery of Central Park came into view, the sun glinting of the lake. It was his favorite place in New York so far, so open and full of nature and life. At the moment it was full of families and school age children playing soccer. People tossed Frisbees or footballs around, played fetch with their dogs, or ate from one of the food carts nearby. 

"You look so excited," Killgrave said, laughter in his voice.

Lucian shrugged. "I told you love being outdoors. Central Park was one of the first places I came to when I got here."

"Just don't change forms and go chasing any squirrels, eh?" Killgrave teased, walking over to a nearby food cart.

Lucian laughed sarcastically and tossed some of his hair off his face. Killgrave paid the man running the food cart and came back over, handing Lucian a hot dog.

"You ever had one of these before?" he asked.

"It's meat," Lucian replied. "Meat that I don't have to chase, so of course I have."

Killgrave laughed and took a bite of his. Lucian followed suit, enjoying the spiciness of the meat. They walked around the park and ate, the sun warm, the cool breeze carrying the smells of fresh-cut grass, and flowers. After they ate, Lucian tossed their garbage into a nearby bin. They stood at the edge of the lake now, the water smooth as glass.

"Thanks for lunch," Lucian told Killgrave. 

"No problem," he replied. "Least I can do." He fiddled with the sunglasses hanging from his collar. "Should we start the questions now?"

"If you like," Lucian answered. "You want to go first?"

"No, you can," Killgrave replied. "I still need to think about mine."

Lucian rubbed his jaw thoughtfully for a moment, mulling over his questions in his head. After a minute, he finally said, "When I first found you, I thought it was the scent of your blood that attracted me to you, but it wasn't. There's this...aura about you that no one else around here has. It flared up a couple times, like when you got angry and told me to leave alone, and when you told me to stick the thermometer in my own mouth. What is it?"

Killgrave sighed and ran a hand over his hair, biting at his healing lower lip. Lucian almost interjected, but the younger man took a deep breath and answered, his voice low and hesitant.

"When I was a kid, I had this degenerative disease in my brain," he explained. "It required a lot of treatment, so I was stuck inside all the time. My parents were scientists, and they experimented on me to try and cure me. They used all kinds of tests-brain biopsies, and..." Killgrave stopped for a second, rolling his shoulder. "And cerebral spinal fluid extractions. Eventually, somehow, they cured me but gave me this power to control people via verbal commands. They have to do exactly what I say when I say it, so I have to choose my words carefully. Pretty much anybody can be affected. Jessica eventually built up a tolerance and was able to break free. You're the first person besides her that I can't affect."

Lucian was floored. No wonder Killgrave seemed so sad and damaged. What kind of childhood was that? He reached over and squeezed Killgrave's arm.

"I'm so sorry, Kevin," Lucian said softly. "That must have been a painful time."

"It was," Killgrave replied. "But that's not the worst part." He swallowed audibly. "I wasn't aware of my powers at first, so when I was having a tantrum my parents had no choice but to obey me. I used them as slaves for years, until one day, when I was ten, I..." His voice cracked. "I forced my own mother to burn her face with an iron. She and my dad abandoned me to save themselves. I was alone for so long." He cleared his throat, and Lucian squeezed his arm again.

"You don't have to keep going," he whispered. "Not if you don't want to."

"No," Killgrave said. "You deserve to know what I was." He took another deep breath and continued. "I used my powers to trick people into giving me food and shelter, and I changed my name to hide from who I was. I didn't want to be Kevin Thompson, the boy with the brain disease. I wanted people to fear me. Eventually, I met Jessica, and well, the rest is history. I had her under my control for years. I...raped her. Over and over. I was so...fucked up that I thought I loved her, but she didn't love me, even though I tried to get her to." He finally stopped, unable to continue.

"Come here," Lucian murmured, pulling the younger man into a hug.

Killgrave sobbed and hugged Lucian tight. The lycan rubbed his friend's back, incredibly amazed at the admissions, but not repulsed or scared. He could tell that Killgrave was sorry for what he had done, and that was enough for the lycan. After a few minutes, Killgrave pulled away, wiping at his eyes and nose. 

"I can't believe you're not scared of me," he told Lucian. "Or at the very least disgusted."

"I can tell that you regret what you've done," Lucian replied gently. "Most people I've met wouldn't be so remorseful."

Killgrave managed a watery smile and wiped his nose. Lucian smiled back.

"Now it's your turn," he said. "Ask away."

"Now that I know you're a lycan, I have a lot of questions," Killgrave admitted. "Not quite sure which one to start with."

"Take your time," Lucian told him. 

Killgrave nodded and fiddled with his sunglasses. Finally, he asked, "Was Sonja another lycan?"

"No," Lucian answered. "She was a vampire."

"Vampire?" Killgrave exclaimed. "Those are real?"

"I haven't encountered one in a long time, but yes. They're real," Lucian said. "They enslaved me and other lycans like myself. Me and Sonja met when we were young and fell in love. Her father, Viktor, however, didn't approve of our relationship. He had me whipped for spending time with her numerous times."

"Jeez," Killgrave breathed. "Why did he hate you guys being together so much?"

"That's a long story," Lucian replied. "One I think you read about recently."

Realization lit up on Killgrave's face. "A book back at the hotel talked about a rebellion of lycans against the vampires that enslaved them," he remembered. "It also talked about a lycan and a vampire who fell in love, even had a child. But...the lycan was chained up and lashed, forced to watch his lover be executed via exposure to sunlight. She was pregnant at the time." He stared at Lucian. "Was that you and Sonja?"

"Yes," Lucian admitted. "In the hopes that her father would spare my life, she told him that she was pregnant, but that just disgusted him. He imprisoned us both, forced me to watch her die while I was whipped. I escaped and was able to kill him, but...I didn't feel better like I thought I would. Killing him didn't bring back Sonja, didn't undo what had already been set in motion."

The lycan sighed, suddenly overwhelmed with emotion. He wiped at the tears welling up in his eyes, sniffling. Killgrave hugged him gently, rubbing his back.

"I'm sorry, Lucian," he whispered. "I'm so sorry."

Lucian hugged him back, crying quietly. He felt so safe around Killgrave, felt like he could let down the walls he'd spent centuries putting up. When they separated, Killgrave rubbed his neck. Lucian sniffled a little more.

"I think that's enough sharing for today," Killgrave said. "I need a drink. What about you?"

"That sounds like a great idea," Lucian agreed.

Later that evening, back at the hotel, Killgrave was dead-asleep in bed. Lucian was still in his human form, sitting on the bed, watching him. They'd spent the evening emptying a bottle of Scotch Killgrave bought from a liquor store on the way back, until the younger man eventually passed out after four glasses. Lucian couldn't help studying him-his handsome face relaxed in sleep, his perfect lips parted as soft snores escaped his mouth, his chest rising and falling steadily. He was so beautiful and smart, but so damaged and alone and sad. He made Lucian's heart flutter each time he smiled or laughed, every touch sending goosebumps across his skin and butterflies in his belly. Nobody had made the lycan feel this way in centuries. Lucian couldn't believe it either.

'I'm falling in love with him,' he thought. 'But does he love me?'

He changed into his docile form and curled up. Immediately, Killgrave rolled over, gripping the fur at the scruff of Lucian's neck. The lycan sighed at the feeling and closed his eyes, content.


	9. Chapter 9

Killgrave groaned as he woke up. Sunbeams shone through the curtain, throwing patches of light and shadow across the room. The empty bottle of Scotch flashed on the table, among several glasses. Killgrave had made the mistake of trying to out-drink Lucian, but he should've figured that a lycan would be able to hold his alcohol better than a human. He groaned again, rubbing his hand across his head. Something warm and soft was resting on his belly. He sat up on one elbow and froze, blushing a brilliant red. 

Lucian, still in his docile form, was resting his furry head on Killgrave's stomach, front paws crossed under his muzzle. He was breathing softly, his back rising and falling. Killgrave's heart felt like it was going to explode out of his chest, though he wasn't sure why. Lucian suddenly made a soft noise and shifted a little, pressing closer.

'Why is that so cute?' Killgrave thought with a slight smile.

He reached out with his left hand and ran his fingers through the fur along Lucian's back, then scratched him behind the ears. Lucian's tail wagged, thumping against the bed. Killgrave chuckled, and at the sound, Lucian's eyes opened. Instantly, he let out a startled yelp and jumped off the bed, disappearing from view as he did. He sprung back up in his human form, still wearing the clothes from the day before. His handsome face was flushed pink, standing out against his dark hair and brilliant eyes.

"I-I'm sorry, Kevin," he stammered, running his hands across his face. "I-I didn't mean to do that."

"Lucian, it's okay," Killgrave promised, kicking the blankets off. "You weren't on my ribs, and even if you were, they're healing, so you wouldn't have hurt me."

Lucian was still blushing, but he sighed deeply. Killgrave got out of bed and came over to him, wearing just his boxers. Lucian's eyes darted around, like he was trying to look anywhere but at Killgrave's bare chest. Killgrave had never seen him so flustered. It was actually quite cute. The lycan fiddled with the buttons of his long black jacket, the one he'd been wearing ever since they'd met. He took a deep breath, and the pink slowly drained from his face. 

"What should we do today?" he asked, clearly anxious to change the subject.

"I'm not sure," Killgrave admitted, letting the subject drop. "Is there anywhere specific you'd like to go?"

Lucian licked his lips and took out his phone, scrolling through it for a few minutes. Suddenly, he let out a low chuckle and stuck his phone back into his pocket.

"How could I have forgotten?" he murmured.

"Forgotten what?" Killgrave asked.

"I'm expected in Harlem today," Lucian explained. "I help out in a soup kitchen there and deliver food to some of the elderly who can't leave their homes."

"That's nice of you," Killgrave said, still impressed by the lycan's compassion.

"Want to come with me?" Lucian asked. "It's a very lively neighborhood, and many of the people there are really nice."

"Sure," Killgrave answered. "I've never been to Harlem before."

Lucian grinned, and Killgrave's heart fluttered in his chest. 

Later that afternoon, after they both showered and changed, Lucian and Killgrave took a bus into Harlem. It dropped them off at the edge of a quaint neighborhood of brownstones and apartment buildings. They stepped off the bus, along with several other passengers. Killgrave adjusted his hood. He didn't think Jessica would be in Harlem, but he didn't want to take any chances. 

Lucian led him down the street from the bus stop, hands tucked into the pockets of his jacket. His long hair was tied back, and he wore a dark shirt and jeans under his jacket. As they walked, a lot of people waved or smiled at him. At one point, even a young African-American boy with short hair ran up to Lucian and hugged him like he was an old friend. Lucian hugged the boy back and tousled his hair, then sent him back to his mother, who waved goodbye as they continued on their way.

"A lot of people know you around here," Killgrave said. "Did you spend a lot of time here?"

"Yes," Lucian answered. "I lived in a small apartment not far from here when I first arrived in New York. I'd learned that this particular neighborhood had a lot people in poverty and a high crime rate, so I decided that this was the best place to start helping out."

"Helping out how?" Killgrave asked.

"I help out in the soup kitchen, deliver food and medicine, play with some of the children in my docile form," Lucian listed. "In turn, some of the people I helped gave me clothing, food, even just a keepsake." He gestured to the black ribbon he used to tie his hair back. "This was given to me by a young girl. I helped her and her mother bring home their groceries one rainy day."

Killgrave shook his head. "You're something else, Lucian. If I was half as decent as you are, maybe I would've used my powers better."

Lucian smiled and nudged his shoulder. "No time like the present."

They reached a building with a sign out front that read 'MERCY HARLEM SOUP KITCHEN'. Killgrave could see dozens of families inside, gathering in clusters at round tables. Lucian led Killgrave around to the back of the building, where a delivery truck was being unload by young men and women with aprons over their clothes. An older man, with black hair starting to go grey, was standing in the back of the truck, passing down boxes of fruits and vegetables. He wiped his brow just he Lucian and Killgrave came into view. The man instantly smiled and jumped off the truck.

"Lucian," he exclaimed. "Where have you been, my boy?"

Lucian smiled as he and the man embraced. Killgrave hung back a little, unsure what to do or say.

"Sorry it's been so long, Lucas," Lucian told the man when they separated. "I've been busy."

"I understand, my boy," Lucas replied. "You're doing God's work very well."

Lucian managed a sheepish smile but said nothing. Lucas patted his shoulder and noticed Killgrave for the first time.

"Who's your friend, Lucian?" Lucas asked.

Lucian turned around, gesturing for Killgrave to come closer. He did, albeit a little reluctantly.

"This is Kevin," Lucian told Lucas. "I've been helping him the past week. I thought I'd bring him by to help out."

"It's nice to meet you, Kevin," Lucas said, offering his hand to Killgrave. "Any friend of Lucian's is a friend of mine."

Killgrave smiled shyly and shook the man's hand with his good one. Lucas smiled and stepped away for a second, then came back with a couple boxes of already-prepared meals. He handed them to Lucian, who held them all easily.

"We're pretty full on volunteers this morning," Lucas explained. "So would you two mind delivering these meals to some of the older folks?"

"Of course," Lucian replied. "See you later, Lucas."

He led Killgrave away and down the street again. Killgrave waited until they were clear before he said, "God's work?"

"I helped Lucas fix up his church," Lucian explained. "He's called me an angel from God ever since, says I've been doing His work very well."

"He seems nice, though," Killgrave said. 

"He is," Lucian answered. "He's very nice. He let me sleep in the church for a day until I found my apartment."

"If you had an apartment here, why do you live in that hotel now?" Killgrave asked.

"For many years after Sonja's death, after the rebellion, I traveled a lot," Lucian explained. "I never stayed in one place for very long. The two weeks I've been spent with you is the longest I've stayed in one place."

Killgrave wasn't sure what to say to that, so he stayed silent. They walked through Harlem, delivering the boxed meals to some older people, all of who knew Lucian's name and thanked him graciously. The last home they got to, however, was just a small house with a single large tree in the yard. The paint was faded and peeling, and the wooden steps looked old and rotten. The curtains of the single window were drawn, and it looked like nobody was home. There were no cars or any other vehicles nearby. Lucian walked up the old steps easily and knocked on the ripped screen door. Killgrave was a little creeped out and stayed on the short grass lawn, rubbing his bound arm anxiously.

"Who lives here?" he asked Lucian nervously.

"You'll see," Lucian replied.

The words had barely left his lips before the screen door flew open and old woman wearing a black dress stepped out. 

"Lucian, my child, there you are," she exclaimed. "It's been so long!"

Lucian placed the food box aside and let the woman hug him. She was much shorter than him, her white hair curling down to her shoulders. She had her eyes closed as they hugged, but opened them as they parted. Her right eye was clear and brown, the other milky white. Was she blind? She rubbed her hands along Lucian's jacket sleeves.

"Jacket still holding up, eh?" she asked.

"Very much so," Lucian agreed. "It's stayed intact every time I've changed. Thank you, Susan."

She patted his cheek, then directed her attention to Killgrave, locking her clear eye onto him. He felt like she was X-raying him, and he shifted his weight a little. 

"You have a darkness in you, child," Susan told Killgrave. "But also, a sense of love and light that's growing brighter." 

She looked at Lucian again. "He's a keeper, Lucian." She picked up the food box. "Thank you for the food, child."

"You're welcome, Susan," Lucian replied. "I'll see you next week."

She kissed his cheek and vanished into her house. Lucian sighed and slowly walked off the porch and over to Killgrave.

"That's Susan," he explained. "She used to be a school teacher here, and a fortune teller in Louisiana."

"She seems...nice," Killgrave said. "What did she mean about your jacket holding up?"

Lucian blushed at the question and looked away, fiddling with the buttons of said jacket. 

"I assume you've probably seen a lot of werewolves on TV and in movies, correct?" he asked.

"Yeah, of course," Killgrave replied. "Why?"

Lucian ran a hand through his hair. "I'm sure you noticed that when they changed forms, often times they'd be naked, right?"

"Yeah," Killgrave agreed. "I was wondering how you were always fully clothed after you changed."

"When I first arrived in Harlem, Susan found me in my docile form, sleeping in the park," Lucian explained. "She knew what I was, and took me in. She made me this jacket and told me that as long I was wearing it when I change shaped, my clothes would be intact when I changed back. So far it's worked."

"That's amazing," Killgrave said. 

Lucian smiled, his blush fading. He rubbed a hand across his chest, and Killgrave noticed that it was shaking again.

"You're shaking," he said. "Do you need to hunt again?"

"No," Lucian replied tensely. "I'll be okay."

He stuffed his hands into his pockets, but Killgrave could tell that he was still shaking. He stepped closer and touched Lucian's arm.

"You don't have to fight this so hard," Killgrave whispered. "If you need to hunt, we'll go back to the hotel so you can change and hunt. I'll be fine until you get back."

"Alright," Lucian agreed.

They left Susan's home and took a bus out of Harlem. Lucian sat next to Killgrave, breathing deeply. His arms shook with tremors, and he gritted his teeth. Killgrave bit his lip, unsure if he could help. The bus rolled to a stop at some traffic lights, and Lucian groaned through his teeth. Sweat was breaking out across his brow.

"Come here," Killgrave murmured softly.

He guided Lucian to rest his head against his shoulder. The lycan sighed, relaxing slightly.

"Just breathe," Killgrave whispered. "We're almost home."

That evening, Killgrave was alone. He went into the bathroom and removed the sling, examining the bandages. His arm no longer ached, but got stiff sometimes. He wriggled his fingers and massaged the arm with his good hand, easing the tightness under the bandages. Lucian had gone out hunting as soon as they'd returned from Harlem. He'd been gone an hour already, so Killgrave entertained himself best he could. 

He kept thinking about what he'd learned about the lycan so far, about his past, about Sonja. No wonder his eyes seemed so sad and downtrodden. He'd been forced to watch his lover, pregnant with their child, be burned alive. That was something Killgrave wouldn't wish on his worst enemy.

"I wish I could do more to help him," Killgrave said to himself, flipping through TV channels. 

That was another thing. Lucian was having some strange affect on him. Every time he smiled or laughed, Killgrave's heart raced and butterflies filled his stomach. The more he learned about the lycan's past, the more endearing he became. Earlier, on the bus ride, Killgrave had acted on an urge to let Lucian rest his head on his shoulder. His hair had smelled like sandalwood. Killgrave blushed and turned the TV off. At the same time, something thumped loudly in the hallway, outside the door. Killgrave jumped, sitting up on the couch, watching the door nervously. 

"Lucian?" he called out. "Is that you?"

An urgent knocking on the door was his answer. Killgrave got up and unlocked it, then opened it. Lucian stumbled into the room, both his hands clasping his torso. Killgrave quickly closed and locked the door again, then turned to Lucian, who had collapsed on the floor just short of the bed. There was trail of blood across the carpet.

"Oh, my, God, Lucian," Killgrave exclaimed, rushing over to him. "You're bleeding! What the hell happened?"

"A-buck that I-I was h-hunting speared me with it's a-antlers," Lucian gasped, leaning against the foot of the bed. "I-I can't stop the b-bleeding."

Killgrave's heart was racing, but he forced himself to stay calm. He quickly left the room and grabbed the first-aid kit from the bathroom, then came back. He knelt beside Lucian, gripping his shoulder.

"Let me take a look, okay?" he whispered.

Lucian nodded and slowly took his hands away from his stomach. His shirt was torn to shreds, and blood pulsed from two large puncture wounds, just under his ribcage. The skin around the wounds was rippling, like it was trying to mend itself back together. Something shiny was sticking out from one of wounds, looking almost like bone. 

"I think there's something stuck in one of the wounds," Killgrave said. "It looks like bone or something."

"A piece of the-the antlers m-must have b-broken off," Lucian breathed. "If you t-take it out, my skin will r-repair itself."

"Are you sure?" Killgrave asked hesitantly.

"Y-yes," Lucian gasped. "Do it now, please."

"O-okay," Killgrave said.

He grabbed a small flashlight from the first-aid kit, switched it on, and put it in his mouth, then pulled on a pair of rubber gloves. He carefully grasped the jagged piece of antler between his thumb and forefinger. Lucian took a deep breath and closed his eyes, nodding. Killgrave nodded back and mentally counted to three, then pulled. Lucian yelled, his eyes flashing to black, his teeth lengthening, his nails digging furrows into the carpet. The bleeding stopped instantly. Killgrave sighed and spat out the flashlight, then looked at the piece of antler. The end was jagged from where it had broken off, the sharp tip wet with Lucian's blood.

"Jesus Christ," he muttered.

Lucian laughed quietly. The wounds were slowly repairing themselves, the flesh and muscle knitting themselves back together. After a few minutes, they had faded without even a scar. Killgrave wet a towel in the bathroom and came back, watching Lucian peel off his jacket, which was undamaged, and his shirt. Killgrave's eyes widened at the sight of Lucian's bare, scarred, muscled torso, the dark hair on his chest and smooth stomach. Killgrave blushed as he wiped away the blood on the lycan's skin. Lucian sighed, one arm thrown across his eyes. 

"Are you okay?" Killgrave asked, tossing the towel into the bathroom.

"I will be," Lucian replied. "Just need to rest."

"Let's get you into bed," Killgrave said.

Lucian nodded and kicked off his boots, then slowly stood up, wearing nothing but his jeans. He crawled under the heavy black blanket on the bed, burying his head in the pillow. Killgrave wasn't sure if he'd be able to sleep like that, but he didn't really want to sleep on the couch, so he stripped down to his boxers and got into bed. Lucian's breathing was gentle and even, his hair falling in a veil around his face. Killgrave laid down on his side, staring. The lycan seemed to be fast asleep, so the younger man threw caution to the wind and leaned down, placing a gentle kiss on Lucian's forehead before laying down and falling asleep.


	10. Chapter 10

Stiffness greeted Lucian as he woke up. He groaned and rolled over, placing a hand on his ribcage. The newly healed skin was sensitive to the touch, the muscles around the area tight. He pressed down lightly and hissed through his teeth. He was never hunting a buck again. He sat up slightly, and that was when he realized that he was in bed, wearing only his jeans. He could see the trail of blood leading from the door to the bed, standing out brightly in the sunlight. Lucian shook his head, brushing some of his hair off his face. Something warm suddenly pressed against his side, and he looked over, then proceeded to blush deeply. Killgrave, wearing only his underwear, was sound asleep next to him, and had just moved in his sleep and was now pressing against the lycan's side, his good arm thrown over Lucian's lap.

'He looks so at peace,' Lucian thought to himself, studying the younger man.

It was true. Killgrave's face was smooth and relaxed, no lines of anger or worry or pain creasing his brow. His hair was tousled and messy, and Lucian wanted so badly to stroke through it. The younger man's sharp jaw was covered in a thick layer of stubble, his bound arm resting against his chest over the blankets. He was definitely not the same angry, reclusive man Lucian had found in an alley two weeks ago. The lycan smiled a little, and attempted to get out of bed, only for the sharp pain in his side to send him back to the mattress. Lucian growled, clasping the healed area, feeling the tense muscles jolting under the skin.

"Fuck," he grumbled. "I am never hunting bucks again."

He took a deep breath and tried again. Pain flared as he stood up, but he stayed upright, heading to the closet to pick out his clothes, and then toward the bathroom, shutting the door behind him. There was a bloody towel on the sink, beside the first-aid kit and the piece of antler Killgrave had extracted from the wound. It was still dark with blood as Lucian picked it up and examined it, turning it in his fingers. An idea occurred to him suddenly, and placed the piece of antler into the first-aid kit for later, then turned on the shower, making sure it was hot enough before slipping out of his jeans and underwear. Lucian stepped into the shower and sighed as the water hit his skin, soothing the aches in his muscles. It felt especially good on his back, where the long scars from Viktor's lashings stood out like white lines against his flesh. They ached almost all the time, and sometimes, during his nightmares, he felt like he could still feel the flesh and muscle tearing, the blood running down his back.

"Hopefully Kevin never sees these," Lucian muttered to himself.

He stayed in the shower a little longer, washed his hair, scrubbed his skin, being gentle on ribcage, which was still tense and sensitive. He turned off the water and exited the shower, using towels to try his body and his hair. He got dressed in a different pair of dark jeans and a long-sleeved grey shirt, then exited the bathroom, taking his hairbrush with him. Killgrave was still sleeping, so Lucian sat down on the couch, brushing his hair out slowly, then tying it back with the usual black ribbon. He set the brush down on the table and laid back, hissing when the motion irritated the tight muscles from his injury.

"You're awake already?" Killgrave's voice asked groggily.

Lucian smiled at the sound of his voice and turned around. Killgrave was sitting up in bed, scratching at his jaw, the blanket falling away from his torso. His chest was no longer bruised and discolored, as his ribs were slowly healing. He raised an eyebrow at Lucian as he kicked blanket off and swung his legs to the floor.

"Are you okay?" Killgrave asked. "After last night, I would've thought you'd sleep in for a little bit."

"My kind heal from injuries faster than humans," Lucian replied. "And I've never been one to sleep in anyway."

Killgrave hummed and stood up, walking over to the couch. "You are alright though, yeah?"

"The healed area is a little sensitive, but I am alright," Lucian promised. "I just need to take it easy while the nerves and muscles heal."

"In that case," Killgrave said, grabbing his phone off the nightstand, "you know how you said you love being outdoors?"

"Yes," Lucian answered, curious to what Killgrave was planning.

"What do you say we go to the Brooklyn Botanic Garden?" Killgrave said. "It's one of the most beautiful places in New York, with 52 acres of the most gorgeous plants in the world."

"That sounds wonderful," Lucian answered. "I've never been to a botanic garden before."

"Great," Killgrave responded, his eyes flashing with excitement. "Just give me a few minutes to shower and get dressed."

He picked out some clothes from the closet, then vanished into the bathroom. Lucian smiled as he picked up his black jacket and pulled it on, amazed that it wasn't even torn from the deer's antlers. A few minutes later, Killgrave came out of the bathroom, wearing blue jeans and a short-sleeve T-shirt. He was drying his hair with a towel, his right wrapped in plastic to keep the bandages dry. He tossed the towel into the bathroom and sat down on the couch, slipping into his shoes.

"How's your arm?" Lucian asked, watching him unwrap in the plastic.

"It still aches sometimes," Killgrave answered. "And it gets stiff, but it's getting better." He hesitated for a second as he put the sling on again, placing the strap behind his neck. "Did I ever thank you for setting it?"

"No," Lucian replied. 

"I didn't think so," Killgrave said. He stood up and stuck his phone into his jeans pocket. "Thank you."

"You're welcome, Kevin," Lucian replied.

Killgrave grinned, making Lucian's heart pulse. The younger man grabbed his jacket. "Shall we?"

Lucian smiled. "Yes, we shall."

Killgrave was right. The Brooklyn Botanic Garden was easily one of the most beautiful places Lucian had ever been to. They were walking through the Japanese Hill-and-Pond Garden, one of the highlights of the area. It was large and sprawling, with a pond, a waterfall, and neatly contoured hills. The paths alternated from smooth stone paths to wooden bridges. The air smell amazing, full of the sweetness of blooming flowers and fresh water. Lucian took another deep breath as he and Killgrave walked across a wood bridge, underneath a blossoming tree.

"This place is amazing," Lucian said. He smiled at Killgrave. "Thank you for bringing me here."

"You're welcome," Killgrave replied with a smile of his own. "I knew you'd like it here."

"You know me well, apparently," Lucian replied, laughter in his voice. "Didn't realize I was such an open book."

"Amazing how you get to know someone, especially after pulling a piece of deer antler out of their ribcage, eh?" Killgrave teased.

Lucian laughed at loud. Killgrave laughed as well, his deep brown eyes shining. They came to a stop at the edge of Japanese shrine, with only a few others standing around, taking pictures with their cellphones. Killgrave leaned against the bridge railing, looking out across the water. Lucian leaned next to him, enjoying the fact that he could see both his and Killgrave's reflections in the water. They stood in silence for a couple minutes, until Lucian remembered something.

"Did we ever share yesterday?" he asked Killgrave.

The younger man turned to look at him, one eyebrow raised. "I...don't think so. We kinda got sidetracked by Harlem, and by you coming back to the hotel bleeding on the carpet."

Lucian chuckled. "That's fair enough."

Killgrave licked his lips a little. "We can still, you know. I don't mind."

"Alright," Lucian agreed. "Do you want to ask first this time?"

"Sure," Killgrave said. He tapped his fingertips against the railing for a minute. "Did you ever.....do anything with someone else? After, you know, Sonja's death?"

Lucian sighed and tossed his hair back, resting his chin in the palm of his right hand. 

"No," he replied. "I got offers, of course. From men and women, even other who didn't identify with genders. But I could never bring myself to be with anyone after Sonja. It felt like a...betrayal, somehow. She was the first love I'd ever hand. I thought I'd be with her forever." Tears pooled in his eyes and he wiped them away. "But I guess that wasn't the case for us."

"I'm sorry," Killgrave murmured, rubbing a hand across Lucian's back. "I know I shouldn't have asked that, but I was a little curious."

"It's alright," Lucian told him. 

Killgrave squeezed the lycan's shoulder before retracting his hand. Lucian found himself missing the contact.

"Your turn," Killgrave said.

Lucian fiddled with his jacket's buttons, looking out across the water. Eventually, he asked, "When we first met, while you were sick, you cried out in your nightmares. You kept saying that it hurt, that you wanted them to stop. Who were you talking about? Your parents?"

Killgrave snorted a little. "Kind of. Sometimes I dreamed about them, about the experiments they did, sticking needles into my back. But other times, I dream about Jessica." He stopped for a second, biting at his lip. "She captured me, put me in a cell full of ankle-deep water. She mocked me, played footage from my childhood of my parents experimenting on me. At one point, she even came into the cell and beat me. I was able to get away, and I tried to escape New York, but she found me. That's why you found me in that alley that night. She attacked me, probably would've killed me if her friend hadn't stopped her."

"Why did she capture you?" Lucian asked, though he felt like he knew the answer already.

"Payback," Killgrave answered. "Payback that I very much deserve and probably still do." He shook his head. "You know, for moment she tried to get me to use my powers for good, but I didn't. I'm not even sure I can."

"Of course you can," Lucian told him earnestly. "You just have to try."

He looked around at the other people in the garden. He spotted a young man, wearing jeans and a Polo shirt, pretending to text on his phone, but his eyes kept glancing upward. Lucian followed the man's gaze to a pretty young woman, dressed in a flowery skirt and a tank top, drawing in her journal, tucking her golden hair behind her ear. Lucian nudged Killgrave and pointed toward the man.

"Test your power on him," Lucian told Killgrave. "Tell him to go over to that girl and compliment her."

"Really?" Killgrave sounded uncertain. "Are you sure?"

"Absolutely," Lucian encouraged. "Go on. Try it out."

Killgrave scratched at his beard for a minute before he walked over to the young man. He looked up as Killgrave approached. 

"Can I help you?" he asked.

"Go over to that girl, and compliment her," Killgrave instructed, his tone clear and even. 

Immediately, the young man put his phone in his pocket and walked over to the girl. She looked up at him from her journal.

"Hello," she said politely.

"Hi," the man replied. "I like your skirt. It's pretty."

"Thank you," she replied, blushing. "Would you like to sit down? My name's Cara."

"My name's Michael," the man replied, sitting down next to her.

Killgrave smiled and came back over to Lucian, who clapped.

"That was amazing," he exclaimed, gripping Killgrave's shoulder. "How do you feel?"

"I feel..." Killgrave looked over at Michael and Cara, who were absorbed in conversation. He smiled and turned back to Lucian. "I feel good."

Lucian smiled. "You are good, Kevin."

Killgrave smiled, their eyes meeting and holding each other's gaze. Killgrave leaned in a little, and Lucian found himself leaning as well, before they both seemed to come to their senses and stepped back from each other. Killgrave scratched at his facial hair again, a pink tinge appearing in his face. Lucian was blushing too, running a hand through his hair.

"Is that bothering you?" he asked, watching Killgrave scratch, hoping to change the subject.

"Yeah, a little," Killgrave admitted. "It's never been this thick before, but I didn't think it would be a good idea to shave with one hand."

"I could help you," Lucian proposed. "I mean, if you want."

"That sounds better than cutting myself or turning into a lumberjack," Killgrave joked.

Lucian laughed, grateful for the change in conversation. "Let's head back."

Ten minutes later, after having brunch at a posh restaurant near Rockefeller Center, Killgrave and Lucian were in the bathroom of their hotel room, Killgrave sitting in a chair, his back against the sick, his head resting against the edge. His face had been evenly coated with shaving cream, and he had a flannel draped over his neck. Lucian stood over him, holding a straight razor in his right hand.

"Are you ready?" he asked Killgrave.

"Yes," Killgrave answered.

Lucian nodded and began, carefully bringing the razor to the younger man's face, creating a smooth track in the cream, leaving a clean patch of skin behind. He rinsed the blade in warm water, and continued. The bathroom was quiet, yet Lucian could feel a tension in the air. Finally, once the last patch of cream had been cleaned from Killgrave's jaw, Lucian set the razor down on the sink and stared at Killgrave. He looked so different clean-shaven, the angle of his jaw more pronounced, as was his smile as he looked up at the lycan.

"You didn't shave my eyebrows off, did you?" he asked.

Lucian laughed. "No, though I was tempted."

He took the flannel off Killgrave's chin, and the younger man stood up, rubbing his face. 

"That feels so much better," he said with relief. "No more bloody itching." He looked at Lucian. "Thank you, Lucian."

"No problem," Lucian replied.

The tension was still there, hovering like mist over a lake. They leaned toward each other, but again, both of them flinched and stepped back, blushing. 

"I-I'll be right back," Lucian stuttered. "W-we need a few things. I'll head to the store, okay?"

"Yeah, okay," Killgrave agreed, his face red as an apple.

Lucian darted out of the room and into the hallway, where he groaned and smacked his forehead with palm of his hand, then kicked at the wall.

"Idiot," he muttered to himself, just as Killgrave was banging his head against the bathroom door, muttering "Idiot" between thumps.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter will be split into two points of view: Killgrave first, Lucian next.

Killgrave groaned as he threw himself down onto the couch, ruffling a hand through his hair and across his clean-shaven face. He'd never felt so stupid. What the fuck had he been thinking? Lucian had said that he'd never been with anyone after Sonja. Of course he hadn't. You never forgot your first love.

"But what do I know?" Killgrave muttered to himself.

He'd been so screwed up that he'd thought he'd been in love with Jessica, when all it was was just him being a crazed sociopath with no moral compass. Had he ever been in love before, properly? He didn't think so. And there wasn't any use in denying his feelings for Lucian anymore. He wasn't entirely sure when he'd started falling for him. Maybe when they'd first begun sharing their respective pasts, confiding in each other all the pain and loneliness they'd been feeling? Or was it at the Met, sitting in front of Monet's water lilies, Lucian sitting next to him, his warmth and nearness so comforting? Regardless as to when it had happened, it had happened. 

"I'm in love with Lucian," Killgrave said to himself. 

And that scared the hell out of him. What if he somehow screwed it up, drove Lucian away? Or broke his heart? Killgrave had already caused so much pain to so many others. It would kill him if he caused Lucian pain. He sighed again and stroked his bound arm, then removed the sling. He traced the bandages for a second before he used his teeth to loosen them and let them fall to the ground. Thanks to Lucian's first aid, the bone had been set correctly and had healed with minimal pain. The skin wasn't even discolored anymore. Killgrave wriggled his fingers and rotated his wrist, grateful to be free of the restriction. Yet another thing he could thank Lucian for. He was kinder, gentler, and more patient than anyone Killgrave had ever met. He'd shown Killgrave mercy, showed him that he didn't have to carry around the pain from his past and use it to do whatever he wanted. 

"But if he's still hung up on Sonja, what's the point?" Killgrave asked.

He stood up and began pacing, debating with himself. He loved Lucian, really, truly loved him. If Lucian didn't love him back, could they at least be friends? That's how things had started out. At one point, Killgrave walked over to the window and pushed the curtains aside. The sky was clear, the city lighting up the night beautifully. In the distance, Killgrave could see the Empire State Building, like a lighthouse guiding sailors home. A light bulb suddenly went off in Killgrave's head. The top of the Empire State Building had the most spectacular view of the city, especially at night. It was the perfect place for a love confession. Stereotypical, yes, but still.

"That's it," Killgrave exclaimed. "I'll take Lucian to the most romantic places I can tomorrow, then tell him how I feel at the Empire State Building."

Nerves fluttered in his belly at the thought, but he grabbed his phone anyway and began making calls and plans

Lucian walked aimlessly along the sidewalk, a bag of groceries hanging off his left arm. His right hand was tucked into his pocket, his eyes on the ground. He and Killgrave had almost kissed! Twice! Lucian was still cursing himself, though for what he wasn't quite sure. He wasn't sure what had come over him, but the look in Killgrave's big brown eyes, his smile, the warm, sweet smell of his skin, had enveloped the lycan's senses. All he'd wanted was to kiss the human, to see if his lips were as soft as they looked, to stroke his jawline and those sharp cheekbones. But those thoughts also sent a burning spear through Lucian's heart. He'd hadn't had thoughts like this ever since Sonja's death. He felt like he was betraying her, breaking the bond they'd shared.

'It's been years,' Lucian thought to himself. 'Shouldn't I have moved on by now?' He reached a crosswalk and hit the button to change the light, leaning against the pole. 'Maybe I don't want to move on.'

The light changed, and cars stalled to a stop. Lucian crossed the street, getting closer to the hotel. It had practically been his and Killgrave's home the past weeks. Just the thought of him being there made Lucian's heart speed up. He wasn't sure when he first started developing feelings for the human. Maybe on the Brooklyn Bridge, when they'd first started their sharing game. Or maybe it was the night he'd had a nightmare in front of Killgrave, revealing parts of his true form. Killgrave had stayed, coaxed him to calm down. He wasn't afraid of Lucian, or his powers.

"I love him," Lucian said quietly. "But we're both so broken. Are we both ready for this?"

And there was another elephant in the room. Lucian had an advanced lifespan. He'd already been alive for several centuries. How long would he and Killgrave have together? Lucian pushed those unwanted thoughts aside as he entered the hotel lobby and headed down the hallway to their room. The was still a light on, shining out from under the door, single strip of light in the shadows. Lucian touched the doorknob and found it unlocked. 

He entered the room and shut the door behind him. The light was coming from the lamp on the nightstand by the bed, where Killgrave was already asleep. He was on his side, facing the door, wearing his boxers, the blankets low on his hips. He was snoring quietly, his head cushioned on one arm. Lucian smiled at the sight, went into the kitchen, quietly put the groceries away, then came over to the bed. He tucked the covers around Killgrave, then stroked his hair, suppressing a chuckle when the younger man leaned into the touch.

"You are so beautiful," Lucian whispered.

Killgrave muttered something in his sleep, nuzzling against the pillow. Lucian snickered softly and went into the bathroom to brush his teeth and change forms. He found it easier to sleep in bed with Killgrave in his docile form, the exception last night being that he'd been too exhausted to do so. Lucian brushed his teeth and was about to change forms when an idea entered his head. He took the first-aid kit out of the cabinet and opened it, locating the piece of antler Killgrave had extracted. It was fairly large, maybe the size of a silver dollar, still dark with dried blood. 

Lucian washed it in the sink, until the blood was gone, leaving the piece glossy and clean. Nodding, Lucian removed a pocket knife from his jacket and flipped the blade open, then began carving at the antler, molding it to take shop. An older man in Harlem had taught Lucian woodworking, had even given him the knife he'd used in the military. After about ten minutes, Lucian had carved the piece of antler into a heart, and then, using the very tip of the blade, made a small hole in it, then threaded a thin but strong piece of twine through the hole, making a necklace.

"I'm sorry, Sonja," Lucian whispered, examining his work. "But Kevin has my heart now. I will always love you, Sonja, but I need to let someone else into my life." He licked his lips. "He needs me, and I need him."

Lucian tucked the necklace into his pocket, then shifted into his docile form. He went back into the room and got up onto the bed, curling up next to Killgrave. The younger man automatically rolled over, gripping his neck fur. Lucian's tail wagged and he pressed closer. 

'When the moment is right tomorrow, I'll tell him,' the lycan thought. 'I'll give him my heart. He's already mended it, so he may as well keep it.'


	12. Chapter 12

It was a crisp morning as Killgrave and Lucian walked across the Bow Bridge, taking in the serenity of the place. It was the first of many stops Killgrave had planned for the day, if everything went smoothly, anyway. He'd thought it'd best to start out with stuff outdoors, since Lucian liked those places better. He stole a glance at the lycan walking beside him. Lucian wore his black jacket over grey jeans, boots, a dark T-shirt. His long hair fell across his shoulders, bound back with its usual black ribbon. He kept checking his right side pocket, so often it was like a nervous twitch. He caught Killgrave staring and smiled.

"What?" he asked.

"Nothing," Killgrave replied, blushing a little at being caught. "Just thinking."

"About what?" 

Killgrave shrugged, reaching up to adjust the beanie he wore. He was still a little nervous about walking around in the open, should Jessica or her friends be anywhere nearby, so he also had a scarf bound around his neck. He didn't want to take any chances, especially today. Lucian was still waiting for him to elaborate, so he answered.

"Nothing specific," he told Lucian. "Just thinking."

Lucian hummed, running his hand along the bridge railing as they walked. "What else do we have on our agenda today?"

"I was thinking we'd hit the Brooklyn Heights Promenade after this," Killgrave replied. "It's one of the best outdoor places around here."

"Sounds great," Lucian said. "I didn't take you for the outdoors type."

"I wasn't," Killgrave admitted. "Not until you, anyway." He smiled at the lycan. "I used to crave being outside when I was a kid, though. I was stuck inside all the time, so I never really got to experience it. When I got older, I decided that the outdoors was unsafe, so I stayed away. Then I meet you, and, suddenly, being outside isn't so bad."

"I'm glad I could be of help," Lucian said with a laugh.

Killgrave laughed too, his heart fluttering in his chest. Lucian's hand slipped into his jacket pocket again. What was in there? Killgrave fiddled with the edge of his scarf, nervousness creeping on him. He checked his watch as they reached the end of the Bow Bridge. It was already noon. Still awhile until he took Lucian to the Empire State Building. So many scenarios were running through his head. What if Lucian didn't return his feelings? What if he wasn't over Sonja? Lucian suddenly touched Killgrave's shoulder, snapping him out of his thoughts.

"Are you alright?" the lycan asked, concerned. "You zoned out for a minute."

"Yeah, sorry," Killgrave replied, blushing again. "Lost in thought, I guess."

Lucian raised his eyebrows, and Killgrave smiled. 

"I'm alright, Lucian," he promised. "Ready to head to the Promenade?"

"Absolutely," Lucian answered. "Are we taking a bus there?"

"Nah, it's only a twenty-minute walk from here," Killgrave replied. "It's a nice day. Let's enjoy it."

In truth, he just wanted an excuse to watch Lucian, the way the sunlight made his hair shine. Lucian smiled, brushing some of said hair back. Killgrave longed to run his fingers through those long locks. 

"Lead the way, Kevin," Lucian said.

Lucian inhaled deeply with his eyes closed, taking in the scents of ocean, cold air, the salty smell of the wind. He opened his eyes, looking out across the water at the gorgeous Manhattan skyline. There was a ferry moving lazily along the water, under the Brooklyn Bridge. 

"It's a beautiful view," he said.

"Maybe next time we could come at night," Killgrave said. "It's even better than."

Lucian smiled and turned to look at him. "I'd like that."

Killgrave grinned, his deep brown eyes glinting. He wore a purple button-down shirt and black jeans, a dark scarf bound around his neck, a beanie hiding his hair from view. He looked so different with his clean-shaven face, his right arm no longer bound in a sling and bandages. He looked healthy and happy and confident. A stark contrast to the angry, spiteful man Lucian had encountered in an alley three weeks ago. The lycan's heart stuttered in his chest. He slipped a hand into his pocket, where the necklace he'd made last night was hidden. 

'Is now a good time?' Lucian thought.

He looked around. The Promenade was nice and airy, but was little too public. Lucian wanted to do this somewhere more private. Though where was privacy in a place like New York? And what if Killgrave didn't share his feelings? Did he even like jewelry? Lucian hadn't seen him wear anything, except maybe his watch. The lycan gripped the necklace, tracing the heart-shaped charm. Now wasn't a good time. He wanted the atmosphere to be romantic, private. 

'I'll know the right moment when it happens,' Lucian thought. 'Which is not now.'

"You okay?" Killgrave asked suddenly. "You went quiet for a minute."

"Sorry," Lucian replied. "Just got caught up in the view."

"It is nice," Killgrave agreed. "Much better than the view I used to have outside of my room."

"Your room?" Lucian asked. "When you were a child?"

"Yeah," Killgrave replied. "My clean room had this two-way window. Closest I could ever get to the outside."

"My people lived outside for centuries," Lucian said. "Part of the reason why we didn't like being restrained and locked away. Wild animals deserve to run free."

A tinge of pink suddenly appeared in Killgrave's cheeks, and he bit his lip, looking away and rubbing his neck. Lucian tried his best to stifle the laugh that threatened to bubble up from his chest. There was something so becoming of seeing Killgrave blush and get flustered. The lycan took his hand out of his pocket and patted the younger man's shoulder. That only made Killgrave blush harder.

"Where to next?" Lucian asked. 

"Lincoln Center," Killgrave replied, the pink draining from his face. "I have a lot planned for today and tonight."

"What happens tonight?" Lucian asked as they began walking.

A shy smile parted Killgrave's lips. "You'll find out."

Finally, it was nighttime. Killgrave and Lucian were in an elevator, heading up to the top of the Empire State Building. The day had been fun and romantic, like Killgrave had hoped. After their morning strolls across the Bow Bridge and the Brooklyn Heights, they had lunch at an Italian restaurant near Lincoln Center, then tossed coins into the fountain. Killgrave had never been one to believe in wishes, but he made one anyway as he tossed a quarter into the water. He wondered if Lucian had wished for anything. The lycan had had a look of concentration on his face as he flipped his coin into the water. After that, the two headed to the Highline, another sprawling outdoor place he knew Lucian would love.

For dinner and drinks, they went to a restaurant One if by Land, Two if by Sea, which was housed in Aaron Burr's former home. Now here they were, Empire State Building at exactly ten PM.

'Now or never,' Killgrave thought.

The elevator came to a stop and opened. Lucian stepped out first, gasping at the amazing view of the city, lighting up the night. Killgrave removed his hat and scarf, tucking them into the pockets of his jacket, then joined Lucian at the windows.

"This is amazing," Lucian breathed, pressing a palm against the glass. "It's one of the most beautiful views I've ever seen."

"Yeah, it is," Killgrave agreed, quietly. He was absorbed by the way Lucian's eyes were reflecting the city lights, his smile wide and awed.

Lucian looked at him, and Killgrave looked back. Tension hung between them again. Lucian's hand slipped into his pocket again, and Killgrave started to speak.

"Lucian," he began, "can I tell you something?"

"Of course," the lycan replied. He leaned against the windows, staring at Killgrave.

The younger man took a deep breath, running his hand over his hair. 

"When I first met you, I was scared of you," he explained. "Not because of your powers, but because I wasn't used to kindness. Genuine kindness and compassion was something that nobody showed me unless I forced them to. Love was the same way. I'm not even sure if my parents loved me. I was so desperate that I thought I loved Jessica, but I know now that I was wrong. About lots of things." He stepped a little closer to Lucian. "I was wrong about love being a fool's quest. I was wrong about good people not existing in the world. And I was wrong about myself. Because I didn't think I was capable of feeling love, but now..." He reached out with his shaking right hand, caressed Lucian's cheek, looking into his eyes, which had welled up with tears. 'His eyes,' Killgrave thought. 'They're blue.'

"I am capable of love," he whispered. "I love you, Lucian."

Tears trickled down Lucian's cheeks, and he reached out too, stroking Killgrave's jawline. The younger man leaned into the touch, fighting back tears of his own.

"I love you, too, Kevin," Lucian whispered.

He pulled Killgrave into a kiss. It was chaste and gentle, full of love and warmth and vulnerability. Killgrave sighed into the kiss, placing one hand in Lucian's hair, which was just as soft as it looked, gliding through his fingers. They pulled back after a minute, Killgrave using his thumbs to wipe Lucian's tears away. 

"I have something for you," Lucian said, reaching into his pocket.

He brought out a necklace with a heart-shaped charm dangling from it, setting it gently in Killgrave's open hand. He held it up, examining the charm.

"Is this the piece of antler from the other night?" he asked Lucian.

"Yes," Lucian replied. "I carved it last night."

Killgrave smiled and handed it back to him. "Put it on me."

Lucian grinned and took the necklace, draping it around Killgrave's neck, the charm hanging just over his heart.

"I didn't think I'd ever find love after Sonja," Lucian explained quietly. "I was afraid to. Afraid I was betraying her, the bond we shared. But.." He stroked Killgrave's chin gently. "But I know she wouldn't want me to be miserable. She'd want me to move on, to let someone else in." He smiled at Killgrave. "I love you, Kevin. So much."

Killgrave smiled, tears falling from his own eyes. They kissed again, deeply, passionately. When they pulled apart, Killgrave touched their foreheads together.

"Should we head back?" he asked.

"Yes," Lucian answered.

Holding hands, the entered the elevator again and left the Empire State Building.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for the delay as I've been kind of sick the last few days!

Lucian's heart was racing as he and Killgrave returned to the hotel. He used the key card to unlock the door and they stepped inside, closing the door and locking it again. Killgrave kissed Lucian again, deeply. Lucian sighed, pulling the younger man closer by his hips. He wanted this so badly, but he didn't want to push Killgrave too far. To the lycan's surprise, however, it was Killgrave who pulled away first, albeit with great reluctance. He had a troubled look in his brown eyes and he bit his bottom lip.

"Are you okay?" Lucian asked, cupping his cheek.

"Y-yeah," Killgrave said. "I-I just, uh, um." He growled, unable to find the right words.

"It's alright, Kevin," Lucian told him. "We don't have to do this. We can take this slow."

"No," Killgrave replied. "I want to do this. It's just that...I've never done this, you know, right before."

"It's okay," Lucian told him soothingly. "I've got you."

Killgrave smiled, kissing Lucian again. The lycan moved them back toward the bed, where he guided Killgrave to sit on the end. They both kicked off their shoes before Lucian slid into Killgrave's lap, wrapping his arms around the younger man's shoulders. Killgrave gripped Lucian's hips, then slid his hands up the lycan's back over his jacket. Even underneath the layers of his clothes, Lucian's scars were sensitive, and he shuddered at the touch, pulling his lips away from Killgrave's to gasp.

"What's wrong?" Killgrave asked, concerned.

"Nothing," Lucian answered quickly. "My back is just a little sensitive that's all." He licked his lips. "I have some scars back there. From Viktor's lashings. They're part of the reason I haven't been with anyone. They are hideous." His voice took on a bitter tone.

"Hey," Killgrave whispered, stroking Lucian's cheek. "Don't talk like that. You're beautiful, Lucian."

Lucian snorted a little, a blush rising in his cheeks. Killgrave kissed him again, gently, and carefully slipped Lucian's jacket off his shoulders to the floor. He gripped the hem of the shirt the lycan wore underneath it.

"May I?" he whispered.

Lucian nodded, raising his arms up. Killgrave pulled the dark shirt off and away to the floor, then froze, taking in the sight of Lucian's body. He was the epitome of sexy and rugged, yet vulnerable at the same time. His skin was warm and smooth as Killgrave ran his hands across his muscled chest, his abs, tracing the curves and dips of the scars and muscles. Lucian sighed, closing his eyes. It had been so, so long since anyone had touched him. He shuddered again when Killgrave touched his bare back, stroking the scars there gently.

"You're the most gorgeous thing I've ever seen, Lucian," Killgrave breathed.

Lucian chuckled, pulling the younger man into a kiss. Killgrave wrapped his arms around the lycan, tangling his hands in his long, soft hair. Lucian began unbuttoning Killgrave's shirt, slowly, tracing the skin he exposed as he tossed the garment to the floor. Killgrave laid back, pulling Lucian on top of him, moaning at the feel of their bare chests touching. They made out for a long time, Killgrave running his hands all over Lucian's body, memorizing every inch of it. Lucian eventually pulled away, smirking a little when Killgrave whined at the loss. 

"Patience, my love," Lucian soothed.

He kissed down Killgrave's jaw and neck, nipping the tender skin gently with his sharp teeth. He sucked a mark into the column of Killgrave's throat, then licked it. He reached his lover's smooth, lithe chest and took a nipple between his teeth, tugging lightly. Killgrave yelped, arching his back and tugging on Lucian's hair. The lycan moaned at the sensation, his erection throbbing in his jeans. He moved to Killgrave's other nipple, making sure both were taut and red, then kissed down that slender stomach. He nibbled the skin above the waistband of Killgrave's jeans, palming the bulge there with one hand.

"Stop teasing, Lucian," Killgrave breathed, propping himself up on his elbows to look down at the lycan.

"Sorry," Lucian replied. "It's just been so long, I want this to last." He blushed a little at the words. 

Killgrave smiled. "We have all the time now, right?"

Lucian grinned. "Right."

He deftly unbuckled Killgrave's belt, tossed it away, then unbuttoned and unzipped his jeans, lowering them down his legs to the ground, leaving him in just his boxers. The lycan wasted no time removing those as well. Killgrave's length arched against his belly, the tip red and leaking. Though it had been centuries since Lucian had been with anyone, he'd educated himself since than, mostly to keep up with the times. Never did he think he would actually use what he'd learned. He wrapped one hand around Killgrave's length, pumping it slowly, rubbing his thumb across the leaking head. Killgrave moaned, one hand gripping the blankets tightly. Lucian leaned forward, kissing and nibbling his inner thigh, then took all of Killgrave into his mouth.

"Fuck!" Killgrave yelped, his whole body jerking against the bed.

Lucian licked up the underside, tasted the bitter fluid at the head, scraped his teeth ever-so-lightly across the shaft. Killgrave was moaning loudly, tugging on Lucian's hair, his toes curling against the bed. Lucian's length was so hard it was almost painful, leaking furiously in his jeans. He kept his mouth on Killgrave until the younger man suddenly yanked on his hair, making the lycan hiss in pleasure as he pulled off. Killgrave's face was flushed pink, as was his neck and chest. His eyes were wide and hooded, his lips swollen from the kisses.

"Jesus, Lucian," he breathed. "I thought you hadn't been with anyone in awhile."

"That doesn't mean I didn't educate myself, should I ever meet someone," Lucian replied playfully.

Killgrave laughed breathlessly, yanking him up for another kiss. His hands caressed Lucian's chest and stomach as he reached his belt, unbuckling it quickly. He unfastened the lycan's jeans just as quickly, pushing them and his underwear down and off his legs. Lucian rolled over onto his back, pulling Killgrave on top of him. Both of them moaned when their erections brushed together. Killgrave straddled Lucian's lap, taking both his hands in his, intertwining their fingers and pinned them above the lycan's head, kissing him passionately. Killgrave pulled away and began kissing and licking his way down Lucian's body, tracing every dip and curve of the scars and muscles there. He reached the lycan's impressive length, heavy with blood, the head weeping pearly fluid and wrapped his lips around it, sucking.

"Kevin," Lucian gasped, hips jolting off the bed slightly.

Killgrave took that as a good sign, as he'd never this before. He took more of Lucian into his mouth, hollowing his cheeks for suction. Lucian gripped his hair gently but firmly, his moans and gasps spurring Killgrave on. After another minute, though, Lucian pulled on his hair, and Killgrave pulled away, looking up into Lucian's darkened blue eyes. 

"I need you inside me," Killgrave said.

"Kevin, yes," Lucian gasped, pulling him into a kiss.

The lycan's heart was racing, his senses on fire. He could hear Killgrave's racing heart, smell his sweat, his musk and arousal, feel his warm, smooth skin, taste the unique flavor of his lips, see his blown-out pupils, his flushed, handsome face. Lucian fumbled a hand over to the nightstand and pulled open the top drawer, removing a bottle of lube that hadn't been opened. His hand shook a little as he flipped the cap open and slicked up some of his fingers.

"This might hurt a little," he told Killgrave. "Tell me to stop and I will, alright?"

"Alright," Killgrave agreed, placing his hands on Lucian's chest.

Lucian stroked his lover's hip, moving toward his entrance. He circled it idly before pressing in. Killgrave hissed at the stretch, nails digging into Lucian's skin, eyes squeezing shut.

"Just relax, love," Lucian murmured, stroking his hip.

Killgrave let out a tense breath, his body relaxing. Lucian probed gently with one finger before adding a second, scissoring them. Killgrave moaned, rocking his hips back. Lucian curled his fingers, and his lover threw his head back with a yell, his cock pulsing against his stomach. The lycan added a third digit, rubbing his lover's hip. He was careful, making sure that Killgrave felt little pain during the prep, before pulling his fingers out, adding more lube to his erection. Killgrave whimpered a little at the loss, but he shifted and slowly sank down onto Lucian's cock. Lucian gripped his lover's hips, gasping his length was enveloped in slick, tight, warmth. Once Killgrave had sunk to the hilt, they both held still for a minute.

"You feel amazing, love," Lucian whispered, kissing Killgrave's chest.

"So do you," Killgrave replied.

He started to move, rolling his hips with every rise and fall. Lucian moaned, his hands moving from Killgrave's hips and exploring his gorgeous body, placing kisses along his chest and neck. He sat up, bringing Killgrave into an embrace. The younger man gasped at the new angle, wrapping his arms around the lycan, kissing him as he resumed his motions. Lucian closed his eyes, feeling tears welling up in them. He hugged Killgrave close, cupping the back of his neck. He suddenly felt wetness against his skin and opened his eyes. Killgrave was crying too, tears dripping down his cheeks. Lucian wiped them away with his thumbs.

"I love you, Kevin," he whispered.

"I love you too, Lucian," Killgrave whispered back.

They kissed again, their movements growing erratic. Killgrave came first when Lucian speared his prostate, his cock spurting warm seed between them. Lucian came as Killgrave tightened around him, his cock filling him deeply and fully. They collapsed against the bed, Killgrave still straddling Lucian as the lycan softened inside him. Their heavy breathing filled the room. After a few minutes, Lucian gently lifted Killgrave off his lap, making soothing sounds when he whined at the loss. The lycan left the bed and returned with a wet towel, cleaning the sweat and come off Killgrave's belly, then tossed the towel away, tucked Killgrave under the blankets, then crawled in beside him, laying his head on his lover's chest. Killgrave stroked his hair idly.

"I love you," he said, his voice heavy with fatigue.

Lucian nestled closer. "I love you too."

Both men fell asleep, exhausted but wrapped up in each other's warmth and love.


	14. Chapter 14

The bar was packed and loud as Jessica sipped drinks with Patsy. It was a hole-in-the-wall kind of place, in a Harlem neighborhood. Jazz music pulsed from the speakers while the smells of cigarette smoke, cologne, and alcohol wafted around. Jessica downed her martini with a satisfied sigh. She was celebrating. It had been weeks, and nobody had seen or heard of Killgrave since she'd beat the crap out of him in that alley. Part of her wish she'd killed him, but was kind of grateful that Trish had stopped her.

"Don't be like him," she'd said, pulling Jessica away from him. "Don't stoop to his level."

Jessica wiped her lips as she looked around. It was such a relief to not have to look over her shoulder for him anymore. Her nightmares had calmed down too. Everything was great. 

"You okay?" Patsy asked, finishing her wine.

"Of course I'm okay," Jessica replied. "Killgrave's gone and I feel great." She smiled and looked around again. "Where'd Trish go?"

"Bathroom," Patsy answered. "She should be back any minute."

Sure enough, the words had hardly left Patsy's lips before Trish returned. She had a put-out look on her face as she grabbed her drink and downed it in a single swallow. She slammed the glass down and sighed, wiping her lips with her hand.

"What's wrong?" Jessica asked. "Trouble at the bathroom?"

"No," Trish answered. "I was on my way back from the bathroom when I saw the most gorgeous man at the bar. I walked over to him, but I couldn't hardly get my name out before he told me he was already taken." She sighed dramatically. "But I didn't see a ring on his finger."

"He doesn't have to be married to be taken," Patsy said. "His girlfriend or whoever is probably in the bar or on her way here."

"Where is he?" Jessica asked. 

"Over there," Trish replied, pointing not-so-obviously toward the bar.

Jessica and Patsy followed her finger toward the bar. A man was leaning against it, sipping a glass of amber liquid. Trish was right. He was gorgeous. He wore boots, ripped black jeans, a T-shirt underneath a long black jacket. His long dark hair hung to his shoulders, tied back with a hairband, loose strands hanging past his face. His face had a carefully trimmed dark beard, his eyes glinting in the dim light. He had an almost leonine grace about him, a lazy sense of power in his presence that Jessica could feel even across the room. 

Patsy whistled lowly. "His girlfriend is a lucky woman."

"Yeah, she is," Jessica agreed.

The man finished his drink and set his glass on the bar, then suddenly looked to his left. A smile broke out across his face as a tall, lanky man approached him from the bathroom. 

"No way," Trish breathed as Jessica and Patsy attempted to hold in their amusement.

The tall man wore blue jeans and a button-down shirt, his short hair styled neatly. He and the other man kissed each other lightly, embracing in an I-love-you-I'll-never-leave-you sort of way. Trish's face was priceless, making Jessica and Patsy burst into laughter.

"I guess you know why he's taken," Patsy laughed. 

"I don't believe this," Trish said, laughing now too. 

"That's what you get for assuming," Jessica told her. 

Trish rolled her eyes and ordered another drink. Jessica laughed, smoothing some of her hair back as she watched the men again. The man in the black jacket paid the bartender, then took his partner's hand, interlacing their fingers as they walked toward the exit. They looked so in love it made Jessica's heart hurt a little. They reached the exit, and the taller man turned his head as he grabbed his jacket off the rack by the door, looking in Jessica's direction for a split second. Her heart stuttered to a stop, and she snapped her glass in half. It was Killgrave! Alive, literally five feet from her!

"Jess, are you okay?" Patsy asked suddenly, touching her shoulder.

Jessica didn't answer. She couldn't. Her heart was racing, her hands shaking, her ears ringing. She watched as Killgrave pulled on his jacket. took the man's hand again, and walked out of the bar. Like a moth to a flame, she dazedly walked away from Trish and Patsy, away from their table and out of the bar. Killgrave and the man were walking down the street, toward the bus stop. They walked so close to each other, hands intertwined, seemingly so in love. Jessica's blood boiled. That poor man, whoever he was, was just another poor victim of Killgrave's control. Was he being raped too? The thought made her sick to her stomach.

"Jessica, what's wrong?" Patsy and Trish came out of the bar, looking concerned and worried.

Jessica pointed with a shaking hand down the street. "Killgrave. He's alive, with that man from the bar."

"What?" Trish and Patsy exclaimed at the same time.

They followed Jessica's finger and their jaws dropped as they saw Killgrave and the man waiting at the bus stop.

"What the fuck?" Trish said. "I thought he was dead, or at the very least missing!"

"I-it can't be him," Patsy said. "It just can't be."

"It is," Jessica growled, clenching her fists. "And he's got another new toy."

"What should we do?" Patsy asked.

"I'm going to do what I should've done weeks ago," Jessica snarled. "I'm going to kill that son of a bitch!"

She bolted toward her cars, fumbling for her keys. Patsy and Trish called out after her, but she ignored them. She got into her car, started it, and waited. The bus showed up, and Killgrave and the man boarded it with a few other passengers. It started to drive away, and Jessica started tailing it, her knuckles white on the steering wheel. The bus route was tedious, and it bothered her that she couldn't see Killgrave anymore. Finally, after about twenty-five minutes, the bus arrived at a stop near Central Park. Killgrave and the man got off and started walking again. Jessica parked her car and started following them at a distance.

"Where are you taking him?" she asked quietly.

A few times during the walk, the man in the black jacket stopped, looking around. He looked tense, like a hunting dog that had smelled it's target. Jessica ducked into alleys and behind mailboxes each time. Killgrave rubbed the man's back gently each time, and they kept walking. Jessica continued to follow them. Eventually, they arrived at a hotel. Killgrave and the man walked inside, and Jessica waited a bit before entering the lobby. She didn't see them anymore, so she walked up to the front desk and rang the little bell. A woman in a dark suit appeared with a dutiful smile on her face.

"May I help you, miss?" she asked Jessica.

"Have you seen a man with a black jacket and long dark hair?" Jessica asked. "I have a few questions for him. I'm with the NYPD."

"There's a man named Lucian who fits that description," the woman replied. "He's in room 113. Would you like me to call him?"

"No, thanks," Jessica replied. "Is that room on the ground floor?"

"Yes, of course," the woman answered. "Why is that-"

Jessica walked back outside and around the back, looking at all the windows, preferably the ones on the ground floor. Counting and eliminating, she found the one that had to be room 113 and approached, crouching low in the bushes underneath it. She carefully looked inside. Luckily, the curtains were parted, allowing her a clear view of the inside. Killgrave and the man called Lucian were on the couch, talking. Killgrave had his arms around Lucian, who was holding him close. They kept laughing and talking, until Killgrave caressed Lucian's cheek, smiling, and pulled him into a kiss. Lucian melted into the kiss and slid into his lap, returning it tenfold. Jessica ducked out of sight, her heart racing at the thought of that man being controlled by a psycho. 

"Killgrave, you are so fucking dead," Jessica whispered.


	15. Chapter 15

Lucian's senses were picking up on something. He just wasn't sure what. It had started at the bar in Harlem, an eerie feeling that he and Killgrave were being watched and followed. It was still there now, even in the safety of their hotel room. Lucian tried to push aside those thought and focus on Killgrave, on the easy slide of the lips against each others, the way their bodies perfectly molded together as the lycan straddled his human lover on the leather couch. Lucian kissed Killgrave back with fervor, but something still didn't feel right, and he pulled away with a sigh. 

"Lucian, is everything alright, love?" Killgrave asked, raising an eyebrow and reaching up to stroke his lover's cheek.

"I think so," Lucian answered. "I just...feel like I can sense something." He licked his lips and looked around. "Hold on a second."

He got off Killgrave's lap and walked over to the window, looking out into the dark New York night. He didn't see anybody or anything, couldn't hear anything save for nighttime traffic, a siren in the distance, dogs barking. Typical city noise. Lucian sighed and ran a hand through his hair, worrying his bottom lip between his teeth. Maybe he was just being paranoid. 

"Lucian?" Killgrave asked, concerned. "Are you sure you're alright?"

Lucian turned away from the window and looked at his lover. Killgrave was sitting on the couch, legs spread, arms spread out across the back of it. He was watching Lucian with a worried look on his face. The lycan tossed some of his hair back and closed the curtains.

"I think I'm just tired," he told Killgrave. 

"Well, we did do a lot yesterday," Killgrave teased. "All without leaving the room."

Lucian chuckled. The morning after their first time, they hung the 'Do Not Disturb' sign on the door, and spent the day making love. Lucian was impressed at the human's stamina. They made love in the bed, on the floor, in the shower, on the couch, even on the table. Lucian's back was still a little sore from that. It had been so long since he'd been in love, been willing to let someone else into his heart, though he'd never made love to Sonja with quite the same passion as with Killgrave. Perhaps that was evidence of just how much they loved each other.

"If you're tired, come lie down," Killgrave said, jolting Lucian out of his thoughts. "I don't mind."

That sounded like a good idea. Maybe it would help dissipate the unease Lucian was still feeling. He walked back over to the couch, kicking off his boots before stretching out and putting his head in Killgrave's lap. The younger man's long fingers began to stroke his hair and massage his scalp. Lucian purred at the touch and nestled closer, closing in his eyes in contentment. He heard Killgrave chuckle above him. The peaceful moment only lasted a minute, however, before Lucian bolted upright, his senses on fire.

"Someone's coming," he said, staring at the door. 

Killgrave looked toward the door too, just as there was a knock. A firm but tentative one. Killgrave raised an eyebrow again as he looked at Lucian.

"If I didn't know you were a lycan, that would've freaked me out a lot more," he said, getting up from the couch.

"Wait," Lucian said, grabbing his arm. "Let me answer it."

"Don't worry, love," Killgrave told him, slipping out of Lucian's grip. "It's probably just a staff member or something."

Lucian started to protest again as Killgrave approached the door, unlocked and opened it. He didn't get a chance to say anything before he was knocked backward onto the floor. He hit the carpet with a thud, sprawling flat on his back. Lucian flew off the couch toward him just as a young woman stormed into the room. She wore combat boots, black jeans, a leather jacket. Her long black hair hung to her shoulders, her eyes bright with fury and contempt as she stared daggers at Killgrave, who stared back with a terrified expression on his face.

"You son of a bitch," she snarled as she stalked toward him. "I knew I should've killed you!"

"J-Jessica, please," Killgrave begged, scrambling backward across the ground, rubbing his jaw. "P-please listen to me. I-"

"Shut up!" Jessica shouted. "Shut the fuck up! Your powers don't work on me anymore!"

She went to punch him again, but Lucian grabbed her wrist tightly, and wrenched her arm back. She turned to look at him, her eyes smoldering.

"Please don't hurt him," Lucian said.

Jessica stared at him for a long moment, then looked back at Killgrave.

"Seriously?" she said. "You couldn't have me so you enslave another innocent person? Let him go so I don't hurt him."

"He's not under my control," Killgrave said. 

Jessica scoffed and tried to wrench her arm free, but Lucian tightened his grip with a growl. She sighed and looked at him.

"You don't know what your thinking right now," she told Lucian. "He's clouding your mind, controlling you. The sooner you get away from him, the better. I don't want to hurt you."

"And I don't want to hurt you," Lucian replied, calmly. "Please leave us."

Jessica sighed again. "In that case, I'm sorry in advance for this."

She clenched her other fist and hooked a punch square into Lucian's jaw. Lucian's head snapped back and he let go of Jessica's wrist as he stumbled backward. Killgrave yelled out and tried to get up, but Jessica whirled around and kicked him in the stomach, sending him back to the ground. Lucian felt dazed from the punch, but shook his head and grabbed Jessica, forcing her away from Killgrave. She struggled against his grip and threw her head back into his nose. Lucian yelled out as cartilage snapped and blood oozed from his nostrils. Jessica pushed her boots against the wall, sending them both backwards into the kitchen cabinets. Lucian grunted at the impact and threw Jessica away against the counter. She flicked a leg out, kicking the lycan right in the chest and sending him to the floor.

"Stop, please," Killgrave shouted desperately.

Jessica straddled Lucian and started punched him, but he grabbed her arms and flipped her over and across the room. He stood up, breathing heavily, blood flowing from his nose, his eyes afire. He was struggling to keep his lycan form in check, but it was festering below the surface, like a volcano about to erupt. Jessica sprung to her feet, a cut dripping blood on her lip. Lucian watched her, wiping the blood off his chin. His hands were shaking in the effort to control himself. 

"Please stop this," he told Jessica. "Please."

Jessica glared at him, then at Killgrave.

"Let him go," she demanded. "I can't keep hurting him."

"I'm not controlling him!" Killgrave snapped. "Honest, I'm not."

"You're lying!" Jessica yelled. "Call him off before he gets himself killed!"

Killgrave licked his lips and looked at Lucian, eyes big and pleading. "Please, stop, Lucian. I don't want to see you hurt again."

"And I can't let her harm you again," Lucian countered. He looked at Jessica. "I'm not leaving him."

"Fine," Jessica replied. "Have it your way."

She attacked again, her fists a blur. Lucian blocked them as best he could, but she scored several hits into his chest and stomach. One lucky shot caught him in his broken nose, making him see stars from the pain. While he was distracted, Jessica delivered a vicious kick to his stomach and sent him into the table. His head hit the edge before he slumped against the floor, eyes falling closed. Blood seeped from a large cut, spreading out across the carpet.

"No!" Killgrave exclaimed, darting over to him. "Lucian, please, no." He gathered Lucian's prone form into his arms, stroking his hair. 

"Wake up, Lucian, please," Killgrave whispered, tears dripping down his face. "Don't leave me. Please don't leave me."

"Let's go," Jessica said, grabbing his arms. "It's time to end this." She started to drag him away, but Killgrave struggled against her iron-hard grip.

"No, I can't leave him," he protested as Jessica dragged him toward the door. "Lucian, please wake up. Please!" 

"Shut up!" Jessica snapped at him. "He doesn't belong to you anymore."

She opened the door and forced Killgrave out into the hallway, slamming the door behind her.


	16. Chapter 16

Killgrave shook with fear in the back of Jessica's car, his breathing coming out in quick bursts through his nose, as his mouth had been duct-taped, as were his wrists. His jaw ached from where he'd been punched, as did his stomach from being kicked. The car was dark and cold, smelling like air freshener and oil. Jessica was silent as she drove, her knuckles white on the steering wheel. Every now and again, her eyes would flick up to the mirror and bore into Killgrave's. He whimpered and shifted around in the backseat, his heart hammering against his ribcage. He tried to look out the window, to see where they were going, but nothing looked familiar in the dark. He took another shuddering breath.

'Lucian, please be okay,' he thought to himself. 

Killgrave knew that Lucian recovered from injuries faster than humans, so surely he would be fine, but head wounds were dangerous for anybody. What if he woke up and had amnesia? What if he didn't wake up at all? Would he try and find Killgrave if he regained consciousness? Too many questions and scenarios raced through Killgrave's head. The only thing that reassured him was the feel of the necklace he wore underneath his shirt, a symbol of Lucian's love for him. 

'He will come for me, right?' Killgrave thought. 'He loves me.'

But part of him almost didn't want Lucian to come for him. Who knew what he and Jessica would do to each other? Especially if Lucian lost control and changed forms. Killgrave had never seen his true lycan form, though Lucian had warned him that it was dangerous and monstrous. It took him years to control it better than he had before. Jessica turned sharply, making Killgrave knock his head against the door. He heard her laugh as he shook his head dazedly. How did she find him? Had she been tracking and watching him all this time?

"I know you probably don't care," Jessica spoke suddenly, "but I called 911 and told them where to find Lucian. He'll hopefully be okay, especially now that he's away from you."

Killgrave remained silent, moving around on the seat again. Jessica took another turn, and the road went from smooth to rough, gravel crunching under the tires. Where the hell were they? Killgrave strained against the duct tape again, but it was too tight to allow him to break free. Jessica finally stopped the car and took her keys out of the ignition. She hesitated, taking a deep breath while tapping her fingers against the steering before exiting the car. She slammed the door and came over to the back, jerking open the right-side door.

"Out," she said. 

Killgrave slowly stepped out of the car. Jessica shut the door and pushed at his back, making him stumble slightly.

"Start waking," she said.

He obeyed, shuffling a tad awkwardly across the rough gravel. They were in a heavily forested area, though Killgrave could see the dim glow of the city lights beyond the trees. Jessica stayed right behind him, making sure he walked in the direction she wanted him too. She pushed him through a thicket, and the vegetation broke away to reveal a shabby, dingy looking bridge covered in ivy and rust. There was an abandoned booth of some sort next to the bridge, also covered in ivy, the windows broken and graffiti sprayed on it. The city skyline gleamed a few feet away, but otherwise the area was completely and utterly deserted. 

Jessica shoved him again. "Go to the bridge."

Killgrave eyed her nervously, then looked at the bridge. When he didn't move right away, Jessica growled and grabbed the front of his shirt, bringing their faces close together.

"I said, fucking go to the bridge!" she snarled. "Or I'll crack your skull open!"

Killgrave whimpered and obeyed, walking toward the bridge. There were a few abandoned cars on the bridge, which creaked underneath his shoes. He heard rushing water and cautiously looked down at the river below, the water looking choppy and dangerous. He didn't like where this was going.

"Stop," Jessica ordered. "Turn around and face me."

Killgrave did, putting his back against one of the bridge beams. Jessica was watching him, arms crossed over her chest, her eyes dark with anger and pure, unadulterated hatred. He suppressed a shiver, straining at the duct tape again.

"You have two options," Jessica told him. "You can choose to hurl yourself off this bridge, or I can beat the shit out of you again and throw you off."

Killgrave's heart sped up again. He looked around, hoping for a way to escape. Where was Lucian? Surely he would've regained consciousness by now. 

'Maybe he's not coming,' Killgrave thought. 

"What are you waiting for?" Jessica demanded. "You waiting for that guy to come save you? Why would he? You were just controlling him like you do everybody!"

Killgrave tried to protest, but because of the tape over his mouth, all that came out were muffled noise. Maybe he could stall her, wait for Lucian to show up or for an escape opportunity. He stared at Jessica pleadingly, trying to signal her to remove the tape. 

"Got an answer, do you?" she said. "Perfect."

She stepped forward and roughly ripped the tape off his face. Killgrave grunted at the pain and licked his lips, his mouth and tongue feeling dry. 

"Please don't do this," he begged Jessica. "Please just let me go."

"Yeah, right," Jessica snorted. "Like you let me go? Face it. The only place you're going is into the river!"

"Please, don't!" Killgrave said. "I'll do anything you want me to!"

"The only thing I want you to do is fucking die already!" Jessica screamed, grabbing him by the neck.

Killgrave choked as her fingers dug into his skin. She jerked him and held him over the edge of the bridge, over the water. Tears leaked down Killgrave's face. His necklace suddenly peeked out from under his shirt, drawing Jessica's attention.

"What the hell is that?" she asked, throwing back against the beam and ripping the necklace off his throat.

"A necklace," Killgrave rasped. "Lucian made it for me."

"Why, because you told him to?" Jessica sneered. 

"No," Killgrave answered. "He did it of his own accord. My powers don't work on him. He really, genuinely loves me. And I love him."

Jessica laughed, clenching the necklace in her fist. "Love? What do you know about love, you sociopath?" She raised her hand and threw the necklace far away into the trees.

"Please, I'm begging you," Killgrave said. "He does love me, and he'll come looking for me."

"Oh, yeah?" Jessica said, amused. "You seem pretty confident in him." She cracked her knuckles. "Let's test your theory, shall we? We'll wait and see if he shows up. And when he doesn't, I'll throw you off this bridge."

Killgrave gulped. He was thankful that he was able to buy himself some time, but scared that Lucian wouldn't show up. Jessica sat down on the hood of one of the old cars nearby, watching him. Killgrave shifted anxiously under her scrutiny and sat down too. He missed his necklace. 

"Lucian, where are you?' he whispered.


	17. Chapter 17

"I think he's coming out of it," a woman's voice said, faintly.

Lucian hissed and winced as someone eased his eye open and shone a blinding light into it. He jerked away from the light and shook his head a little to clear his blurry vision. A young woman hovered over him, tucking a small flashlight into her shirt pocket. The sky gleamed with stars, a light breeze blowing her hair around. Lucian looked around, his head throbbing like mad. He was on a gurney outside the hotel, police cars and ambulances crowding the street. The flashing lights were like needles in Lucian's eyes and he looked away, noticing the IV pole he was hooked up to. He was about to ask what happened when the memories crashed through him like a tidal wave. Jessica had taken Killgrave! She was going to kill him! He sat up on the gurney, but the woman stopped him with a hand on his chest.

"Sir, you've just suffered a head injury," she told Lucian firmly. "We have to take you to the hospital and get you checked out."

"No, I'm fine," Lucian insisted. "My boyfriend was kidnapped. I need to find him."

The woman's expression turned a little sad, and she gripped Lucian's shoulder.

"Killgrave is a well-known criminal around here," she said gently. "He has the ability to control people. But don't worry. You're safe now."

Lucian growled and attempted to get off the gurney again. The woman held him firmly, but he was too strong, too determined, and kept struggling despite the pain in his head.

"I need help over here!" the paramedic cried out.

Another one rushed over and took out a syringe, filling it with a clear liquid. He went to inject into Lucian's IV, but the lycan growled again and ripped the IV needle from his arm, then slid out of reach. A police officer came over, a hand upon his Taser.

"Sir, you're not thinking clearly," he said. "Please cooperate or I will use this."

Lucian snarled and took off running, leaping over the yellow police tape being used to section off the area. People shouted after him, but he ignored them and kept running, until he'd put enough distance between himself and the police. He stopped and leaned against a tree, panting. Blood oozed down his arm from where he'd ripped the needle out, but he didn't register the pain. His head still ached, and he reached up and touched it. His hair was matted a little by dried blood, but there was no wound. His nose had healed as well. He inhaled deeply, trying to home in on Killgrave's scent, but there were too many other smells clouding his nose. He shook his head.

"Focus, Lucian," he told himself. "Concentrate."

He tried again, but he couldn't locate Killgrave's smell. He sighed, realizing what he would have to do if he wanted to find his lover. Lucian looked around, then darted into the forest, making sure he was out of sight. He knelt on the ground and closed his eyes, breathing deeply. It had been a very long time since he'd unleashed his true form. He hoped he'd be able to control himself. The change was instantaneous and painful, his muscles expanding, his bones cracking and popping, his organs shifting and finding new homes in his body. His clothes vanished as dark fur sprung up across his skin. Claws ripped free from his fingertips as his hands became paws, his jaw cracking as his teeth lengthened and a muzzle formed. His eyes hazed over and he opened them, his senses keen and powerful.

'That's more like it,' Lucian thought.

His ears twitched as he turned his head. He could hear everything-the police chatter at the hotel, traffic whizzing by, squirrels in the treetops. The colors had dimmed slightly, but he could see well enough to notice the ladybug crawling up a blade of grass. He inhaled deeply through his nose again, pushing aside the scents of car exhaust, wet leaves, animals, old wood, and focused. He smelled something different, something that didn't fit in with the smells of the forest-rich cologne, amber shampoo, a warm, crisp musk, a combination of cinnamon and Scotch. Killgrave. Lucian homed in on the scent and took off running on all-fours, relishing in the feel of his muscles pumping, his heart racing as he ran. As long he remained hidden by the foliage, nobody would see him, and if anyone did, hopefully they would just mistake him for a bear or some other large creature.

Lucian ran for almost an hour, and Killgrave's scent grew stronger. He reached a clearing full of thick bushes and dying logs. Killgrave's scent was stronger here, but he wasn't there.

'Kevin, where are you?' Lucian thought desperately.

He paced around the clearing, gravel crunching under his paws, sniffing around. Suddenly, he heard something-a dull, noise, like the sound of a familiar song that you were too far away to hear clearly. A small motion out of the corner of his vision made him turn his head. He walked over toward a tall, rotting tree, and sniffed around it. Killgrave's scent was all over the tree, but he wasn't. Then Lucian saw it. Hanging from a low branch was Killgrave's necklace, the heart-shaped antler charm on it glinting in the starlight. Lucian whined and stood up on his back legs, carefully taking the necklace between his teeth and easing it off the branch.

'Why is his necklace here, but he's not?' the lycan thought. 'Where would Jessica take him?'

He whined and paced around the clearing, his lover's necklace hanging from his muzzle before tipping his head back and letting the necklace fall around his neck. He put his nose to the ground again and sniffed. He couldn't smell anything else out of the ordinary, and he growled in frustration. Just then, he heard a voice-a woman's voice, sounding angry and impatient.

"Time's up," she said. "He's not coming, so let's get this over with."

"No, please," an English man's voice pleaded. "Just give him a little more time!"

"Oh, for God's sake, would you just shut up!" the woman snapped. "And quit struggling!"

"No, Jessica, please stop," the man protested, sounding on the verge of tears.

That voice. It was Killgrave! Lucian ran toward the source of the commotion and broke through a thicket of tangled bushes. He stood at the edge of an abandoned bridge, covered in ivy and rust and graffiti. He spotted Jessica Jones standing on the bridge, looking angry. She was holding Killgrave by his neck, up against one of the bridge supports. He looked terrified, his breathing quick and panicked, his hands bound behind his back. Lucian let loose a dangerous snarl and stalked out of the bushes. Jessica and Killgrave both turned their heads in union toward the noise. Jessica's eyes widened, and she dropped Killgrave back down on the bridge.

"What the fuck is that?" she exclaimed.

Lucian growled and walked closer, the fur along his neck and back bristling. Killgrave shifted on the ground, sitting up on his knees.

"Lucian," he said, his voice quiet and shocked, "is that you, love?"

Lucian whined in response. Jessica's jaw dropped, but she steeled herself and stood in front of Killgrave.

"I don't know what the hell you are, but Killgrave is mine," she said. "He's mine to kill."

Lucian snarled. 'And he's mine to protect and love,' he thought.

"Please, don't this," Killgrave said to both of them. "Just let me go, Jessica, and you'll never see or hear from me again."

"Shut up," she snapped at him, slapping him across his face. "I'm through listening to you!"

Lucian barked loudly, his teeth shining as he peeled his lips back in a warning growl. It was taking every bit of his willpower not to snap and attack outright. When he didn't attack right away, Killgrave tried again.

"Jessica, I'm begging you," he said. "Do not do this."

She clenched a fist and whirled around, crunching an uppercut into Killgrave's stomach. He shouted out in pain and crumpled onto the ground, gasping for breath. Lucian's control snapped like a pencil, and he charged toward the bridge.

Jessica wasn't sure what to think as that monster charged toward her. The thing looked it weighed more than a car, covered in thick black fur and lean muscle. The eyes were wide and liquid-black, teeth like sabers, claws wickedly curved as fishhooks. How the hell could that be Lucian? She tensed as the creature got closer, than leapt to the right. The monster rushed past her like a freight train, skidding to a stop, sparks flying as its claws scraped across the bridge. It turned around and snarled just as Jessica threw one of the old cars on the bridge directly at it. It hit the monster and knocked it down, but the freaking thing just got right back up, snarling, eyes flashing with rage.

"What the fuck?" Jessica exclaimed. "How is this possible?"

The creature growled and stood up on its back legs, standing at least seven or eight feet tall. It howled, turning Jessica's blood to ice. Even Killgrave shivered from where he was on the ground. The creature got down on all fours again and lunged at Jessica. She yelled out and ducked as the monster hurled itself at her, only to sail past her. She stood up and grabbed her gun out of its holster. The wolf-monster turned around and she fired, the sound loud and echoing in the night. Blood spurted as a wound appeared in the creature's shoulder. It threw its head back and howled in pain.

"No," Killgrave shouted. "Stop hurting him!"

Jessica ignored him and fired again, the bullet hitting the monster's ribcage, soaking the black fur in blood. It bared its teeth and snarled, charging toward Jessica, eyes bright with the intent to kill. She aimed the gun at the creature's head, eyes narrowed as she lined up the shot.

"Stop!" Killgrave suddenly threw himself at her, and the gun slipped from her hand. He kicked it away as he and Jessica tumbled to the ground.

"Get off me!" she shouted, throwing him off herself.

Killgrave stumbled backward, off balance because of his bound hands. He lost his footing and tripped, falling headfirst off the edge of the bridge and toward the water below, screaming as he went. He hit the water with a splash and vanished from view. The wolf-creature howled and jumped off the bridge, landing into the river with a huge splash. Jessica grabbed her gun again and looked down at the water. She couldn't see anything, no bubbles or signs of life anywhere. Suddenly, several feet away, something broke the surface. Jessica squinted and dropped the gun in shock. The wolf-creature was gone, replaced by Lucian, Killgrave's 'boyfriend', dragging him toward the shore.

"Oh my God," Jessica breathed.


	18. Chapter 18

Lucian grunted with effort as he heaved himself and Killgrave onto the rocky shore. His clothes were wet and cold, but more or less intact. The bullet wounds in his shoulder and ribcage stung from the saltwater, blood still seeping from the holes. Luckily, they weren't silver, or he would have a much more serious problem. The lycan groaned and flopped over onto his back, panting. Killgrave lay beside him on the shore, his clothes wet and torn. Lucian reached out and touched him lightly on the shoulder.

"Are you alright, love?" he asked.

Killgrave didn't answer. Lucian sat up, his heart racing. He ripped off the duct tape binding his lover's wrists and rolled him over onto his back. Killgrave's hair was stuck to his face, a bruise forming on his jaw. His eyes were closed, and chest not even moving. Lucian placed two fingers against his lover's pulse point, but felt nothing. 

"Kevin?" Lucian asked. "Kevin, can you hear me?"

No answer. Panic flashed through Lucian. He started CPR, pushing down on Killgrave's chest, over his heart. He stopped after a few times and blew air into Killgrave's mouth. His lips were cold and tasted like blood. He still wasn't moving or breathing, or had a pulse.

"Kevin, don't do this to me, please," Lucian begged, resuming the compressions. "Please, Kevin, wake up. Wake up." His voice cracked with emotion. 

He blew air into Killgrave's mouth again, tears beginning to well up in his eyes. He continued CPR, growing more desperate the longer Killgrave went without showing signs of life. Footsteps suddenly approached, and Lucian looked up, still pressing down on Killgrave's chest. Jessica Jones was jogging toward them. Lucian snarled.

"Don't you dare come any fucking closer!" he shouted at her.

She stopped a few feet away from them, watching. Lucian looked back down at Killgrave's face, tears leaking down his cheeks. He stopped CPR and gathered Killgrave's limp form in his arms, crying and stroking his wet hair from his face.

"Kevin, please don't leave me," Lucian sobbed. "Please wake up, my love. I love you." He pressed a kiss to Killgrave's forehead. "I need you."

Jessica started walking toward them again, and Lucian growled, glaring daggers in her direction. She stopped again. Her face was twisted in shock and confusion.

"You did this!" Lucian shouted at her. "You killed him! Do you feel any better? Do you?!"

"I-I-I," Jessica stuttered, seemingly at a loss for words.

Lucian sobbed in earnest, burying his face in Killgrave's chest. Suddenly, Killgrave gasped, his eyes flying open. He leaned to the side and began puking up water, coughing and breathing heavily. Lucian stopped sobbing, but only for a minute before pulling his lover into his arms, tears of relief coursing down his face. Killgrave managed to hug him back, his arms kind of limp.

"You're alive," Lucian sobbed, stroking his lover's hair and face. "You're alive, Kevin."

"Yeah, I am," Killgrave agreed. He offered a small smile. "You saved me again."

Lucian laughed, kissing Killgrave. When they separated, they both looked over at Jessica, who was watching them closely. She looked so confused and disbelieved. Killgrave shifted a little to face her more directly. Shivers started wracking his body.

"I-I'm sorry, Jessica," he said, his teeth chattering. "I'm sorry for everything I did to you, and f-for everything I-I made you do. I u-used my p-past to justify my a-actions, but I had no e-excuse to do what I did. I-I shouldn't have taken out a-all my p-pain on you. Y-you didn't deserve t-that. Nobody did." He licked his lips. "I'm not asking for y-your forgiveness. I-I know I don't deserve it, but I j-just wanted to know how s-sorry I am."

He stopped talking. shivering uncontrollably. His lips were turning blue. Lucian stroked his face, looking worried. He no longer cared about his own wounds.

"You have hypothermia," he said. "We need to get you out here and get you warm."

Killgrave nodded. Lucian stood up and pulled him into his arms, holding back a hiss of pain when his shoulder twinged. Killgrave wound his arms around the lycan's neck, his whole body shaking. Lucian wasn't sure where they should go, but he needed to get Killgrave somewhere warm.

"Wait," Jessica said suddenly.

Lucian stopped walking and turned to face her wearily. She wrung her hands nervously, licking her lips. She took a tentative step forward.

"I don't think I can forgive you," she told Killgrave. "But I can accept your apology." She stopped for a second. "My car is this way. Let me give you guys a ride to a different hotel."

Lucian studied her, unsure whether to trust her. But Killgrave shivered again, and he pressed closer to the lycan's body. He needed warmth.

"Okay," Lucian agreed.

Jessica and nodded and started walking. Lucian followed her back up a path, across the bridge, and back into the gravel-filled clearing. Jessica's car was parked between two large trees. She took her keys out and unlocked it as they approached. She opened the right-side back door and held it. Lucian slid inside, holding Killgrave close. He rested the younger man's head in his lap as Jessica shut the door and slid into the driver's seat. She started the car and turned the warm air on full blast, then started driving. Silence and tension filled the car like a thick fog. Killgrave was still shivering despite the warm air, his lips still blue.

"It's gonna be okay," Lucian whispered to him, stroking his hair. "Everything's going to be okay."

Jessica's eyes flicked up into the mirror, meeting Lucian's for half a second. They entered the city again. Lucian wasn't sure what time it was, but there was still traffic and people out and about on the street. Jessica kept driving, taking a few turns before she finally stopped in front of a three-story hotel building. She turned around to face Lucian.

"Give me a minute," she told him. "I need to go in there and make sure they don't call the cops."

Lucian nodded, and Jessica exited the car but left it running. She vanished into the hotel, and Lucian looked down at Killgrave. He'd stopped shivering, but his lips were still discolored and his breathing was shallow. Lucian looked at his own wounds. They had stopped bleeding, but he could still feel the bullets within his flesh. As long as he removed them, his body would heal itself by morning. Jessica came back out of the hotel and opened the back door again. 

"They won't call the police," she told Lucian. "Come inside. I got you a room on the third floor."

"Thank you," Lucian replied.

He gathered Killgrave into his arms again and followed Jessica into the hotel. Several people stared at them as they walked across the lobby and into the elevator. Lucian and Jessica remained silent as they rode up to the third floor. Jessica led them down a richly carpeted hallway and stopped outside room 311. She handed Lucian a room key and used another one to unlock the door.

"You guys should be comfortable here," she said. "You have money, right?"

"Yes," Lucian answered. "I'm not sure how we'll stay here, so but we will until Kevin is well again."

Jessica nodded and opened the door to the room. Lucian stepped inside, but lingered in the doorway for a second. Jessica began to walk away, but then he spoke.

"Jessica," he called out to her.

She stopped and turned around, her hands in her pockets. 

"Thank you, Jessica," Lucian told her.

"You're welcome," she replied.

Lucian vanished into the room and shut the door. Jessica sighed and walked back down the hall and into the elevator. She walked through the lobby and out of the hotel, feeling lighter, like she'd just removed a straitjacket made of lead. She felt....whole, as if she'd been broken and then put back together again. She let out a breath, and felt years of tension and anger and stress leave her body. She felt free as she walked away from the hotel and into the New York City night.


	19. Chapter 19

Killgrave woke feeling warm and comfortable. He slowly opened his eyes and stared up at an unfamiliar ceiling, then looked around. He was in a different hotel room, much nicer than the one and Lucian had been staying at for the past weeks. The floor was covered in Persian rugs, the walls painted red and hung with landscape paintings. There was a faux fireplace nearby two L-shaped leather couches, as well as a polished kitchenette and a door Killgrave assumed led to a bathroom. The bed he was in was soft and warm, made up with red sheets and a thick, fur-lined blanket.

"What the hell?" Killgrave asked softly. 

He thought back to the bridge fight, watching Lucian and Jessica nearly kill each other. He remembered falling from the bridge and falling headfirst in the freezing river below. He'd never been taught how to swim, and even he'd known how the duct tape on his wrists prevented from doing anything but thrashing around, trying to find the surface. He remembered losing consciousness, only to wake up on the shore in Lucian's arms, coughing up gallons of river water. He'd never felt so cold in his life. He remembered apologizing to Jessica, seeing the dumbfounded look on her face. What had her response been? He couldn't remember. 

Something shifted next to him under the blanket, and he turned his head again. Lucian was in bed with him, holding him close, and it was then that Killgrave realized that they were both naked. Now he remembered what had happened. Hypothermia. Lucian had been desperate to get him someplace warm, and now seemed to be trying to use his own body heat to warm Killgrave.

"Lucian?" Killgrave asked, quietly.

The lycan twitched in his sleep, his strong arms pulling Killgrave closer against his warm, muscular body. He had a bandage on his right shoulder and another on his ribcage. His gunshot wounds, Killgrave remembered. He fumbled a hand out from under the covers and reached over, stroking Lucian's hair. then pressed closer, burying his face in the crook of the lycan's neck. He still smelled like ceder and sandalwood, and his skin was smooth and warm. Lucian's lips pulled up into a smile, his eyelids twitching slightly. Killgrave smiled too, and closed his eyes again, inhaling his lover's comforting scent as he drifted back to sleep.

The next time Killgrave woke up, it was to the gentle stroking of his hair, a thumb caressing his cheekbone. He blinked his eyes open and found himself looking into Lucian's deep blue ones. They were still in bed, and the lycan had one hand resting on the human's bare chest. His long dark hair fell past his collarbones, and his full lips pulled up into a smile as he looked at Killgrave.

"There you are," Lucian whispered. "How do you feel?"

"Warm," Killgrave answered, still half-asleep. His and Lucian's bodies were pressed as close as possible under the blanket, their legs tangled together.

"That's good," Lucian said. "I was really worried after I pulled you from the river." He paused for a minute, his eyes getting shiny. "I thought I'd lost you."

Killgrave frowned, his heart clenching in his chest. He reached over and tucked some of Lucian's hair behind his ear. The lycan turned his head, kissing Killgrave's palm and interlacing their fingers.

"You'll never lose me, love," Killgrave promised. 

Lucian kissed him then, an gentle press of their lips, his sharper-than-average teeth nipping lightly at Killgrave's lower lip. The human threaded his fingers through his lover's thick hair, holding him close. Lucian's lips were soft and warm, and he tasted like home and freedom. When they separated a few minutes later, Killgrave looked around the room again.

"Where are we, exactly?" he asked. "This isn't the hotel we've been staying at."

"No, it's not," Lucian agreed. "Jessica drove us here after the bridge fight. She made sure the staff won't call the police while were here. The old hotel is kind of a crime seen at the moment. The city is looking for you again, and Jessica thought we'd be safer here for the time being."

"Why did she do that?" Killgrave asked, then he remembered, realization crashing over him. "I apologized to her. I remember what she said. She said that she couldn't forgive me, but that she could accept my apology."

"That's right," Lucian agreed. "I told her I wasn't sure how long we'd stay here, but I figured we'd think of something once you were well again."

Killgrave sighed, resting his head on the pillow and staring up at the ceiling. "I don't know what to do now."

Lucian rubbed his chest, propping himself up on one elbow. "We could just lay low for awhile," he suggested. "Or maybe we could..." He stopped, licking his lips.

"We could what?" Killgrave asked, raising his left eyebrow.

Lucian ran a hand through his hair, then rubbed his jaw. "What if we left New York, bought or rented a place somewhere else?"

Killgrave raised both his eyebrows at that. He'd lived in New York nearly his entire life, but was it really his home? He didn't think so. He'd treated the city more like a hunting ground, a place to do whatever he pleased. He'd never truly had a home. But maybe now he had a chance to have one, have a life with someone who genuinely loved him. He smiled and sat up, wrapping his arms around Lucian.

"Anywhere you, I'll go," he told the lycan. "You're my home, Lucian. I love you."

Lucian let out a breathless laugh and pulled the human into another kiss. They only broke apart when Lucian's phone chirped on the nightstand. He growled against their lips and reached for it, swiping his finger across the screen. His eyes widened suddenly as he studied the screen.

"What is it?" Killgrave asked. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," Lucian answered. "It's just a news alert. According to this, Jessica spoke with the NYPD Chief and told him to stop searching for you and me."

Killgrave was floored, and his jaw dropped. "Why would she do that?"

"Maybe this is her way of accepting your apology," Lucian said, setting his phone aside. "Letting you avoid being arrested, or worse."

"Yeah," Killgrave said, quietly. He reached up habitually to fiddle with his necklace, but gasped when he realized it wasn't there.

"My necklace," he exclaimed. "Where is it?"

"Oh, sorry," Lucian replied quickly. He reached back over to the nightstand and handed it back to Killgrave. "I found this hanging from a tree branch. It's how I found you and Jessica on the bridge."

"Thanks," Killgrave said with relief, slipping it onto his neck again. "I was worried I'd lost it."

Lucian grinned and kissed his forehead. "I would've made you another one, though maybe use something that you didn't pull out of my body."

Killgrave laughed at that, but then he looked at the bandages on Lucian's shoulder and torso. He touched them lightly with his fingertips.

"Do these hurt?" he asked softly.

"At first, and when I removed the bullets," Lucian admitted. "I covered them to help the bleeding, but they're almost fully healed."

"Good." Killgrave placed a kiss to Lucian's shoulder, then hugged him tight. Lucian reciprocated, stroking the back of his neck with one hand, holding his lover close. 

"I love you," he whispered in Killgrave's ear.

"I love you too," Killgrave whispered back.

After a few minutes, Lucian pulled back and stroked Killgrave's cheek. "Now that we know we're free from the police, we can stay in New York after all."

"Yeah, but where?" Killgrave asked. "I don't think we can keep living in hotel after hotel."

"You're right," Lucian said. "We could find a place to rent, maybe."

"That's a good idea," Killgrave said. "But could you really stand to live in an apartment? What if you need to hunt? We should live somewhere with easy access to the forest."

"That's what I would need," Lucian mused. "But what would you need?"

"I dunno," Killgrave shrugged. "I suppose all I need is you. Anywhere you go will be my home."

Lucian grinned. "Well, in that case, I think I know just the place." 

"Great," Killgrave said. "Now come closer. It's starting to feel cold again."

Lucian laughed as he pushed Killgrave onto his back and pulled the blanket over them, sealing their lips together.


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The end of You're Not Broken! This is probably my favorite thing I've written so far! Thanks so much for all the comments and support for this ship!

"This place is really nice," Killgrave remarked, walking through the house's foyer. "Lucas just gave it to us?"

"He and some of the other members of his church fixed it up," Lucian explained, following Killgrave through the house. "He heard that we were looking for a place to stay, so he offered to us no charge at all."

"Wow," Killgrave said.

He and Lucian continued to explore the single-story home, which was located at the edge of a forested area in Harlem's midtown. The living room and kitchen were in the front of the house. The floors were polished hardwood, covered in thick rugs donated from the church. The furniture as well as the kitchen appliances had been donated as well. Killgrave and Lucian reached the back area of the house, where the bathroom and bedroom was. There was also a back door that led out to a spacious patio, and it had a clear view of the forest behind the house. It had been about a week since their encounters with Jessica and her dropping the warrant for Killgrave's arrest. The two of them were finally free.

"Did Lucas know you needed a place close to the woods?" Killgrave asked, looking out the window.

"I don't think so," Lucian answered. "Perhaps that's just a coincidence. But it will be more convenient in case I need to hunt." He leaned against the wall and gazed at his lover.

Killgrave was still staring out the window. He wore a purple button-down shirt that hugged his slim torso delightfully and tight blue jeans. His necklace hung out against the shirt, dangling just over his heart. His hair was styled neatly, and his brown eyes were bright as he surveyed the patio through the window. Suddenly, his perfect lips pulled up into a smile and he gave Lucian the side-eye.

"I can feel you staring at me," he said, laughter in his voice.

"Sorry," Lucian replied with a playful shrug. "I can't help it."

Killgrave chuckled lightly and wrapped his arms around Lucian, pulling him close. Lucian put his arms around Killgrave's neck, stroking his nape gently. 

"Are you sure you're going to be happy here, my love?" Lucian asked quietly, his blue eyes meeting Killgrave's brown ones. "I know you may not be used to living like this, but..." He stopped when Killgrave reached out and tucked some hair behind his ear.

"I was used to being alone," Killgrave replied softly. "Never in my life did I think I would ever have this-a home, a life, love." He smiled, stroking Lucian's jaw. "I'll always be happy with you around, Lucian. I love you."

"I love you too," Lucian replied.

Killgrave pressed their lips together, his hands sliding Lucian's back and into his hair. The lycan sighed, gripping his lover's narrow hips. He nipped at Killgrave's bottom lip, and the younger man opened his mouth, letting their tongues meet. Lucian's teeth nibbled his lover's tongue, sucking it lightly. Killgrave groaned, his body going pliant against the lycan. Lucian pressed his back to the wall beside the window, slotting a muscular thigh between Killgrave's legs, feeling the bulge there under his jeans. 

"Take me," Killgrave moaned breathlessly between kisses. 

"Can do," Lucian purred.

His hands slipped from Killgrave's hips to his ass, hoisting the human up off the ground. Killgrave moaned at his lover's incredible strength, winding his legs around Lucian's waist, hands still buried in his hair. Lucian carried his lover down the hall toward the bedroom, where he kicked the door open and then shut behind them. The bed at the moment was just a bare, unmade mattress on the frame, but it would suffice. Lucian tossed Killgrave onto the mattress and straddled his waist, leaning down to kiss him and unbutton his shirt. The garment was soon tossed to the floor, and the lycan latched onto one nipple, sucking a bruise into the flesh.

"Lucian," Killgrave keened, arching his back.

The lycan smirked against his lover's skin, moving to the other nipple, making sure to leave bruises on both. He felt Killgrave's hands tugging at his shirt, and sat up, letting the human peel it off him and throw it aside. Like always, Killgrave instantly put his hands on Lucian's torso, tracing the scars and muscles with reverence and love.

"You are so sexy," he breathed, his blown eyes meeting Lucian's.

"So are you," Lucian returned, kissing along the human's shoulder, feeling him blush at the compliment.

Killgrave pulled at Lucian's belt, unbuckling it, then undoing the button and zipper on the older man's black jeans. Lucian kicked the clothing off his legs, leaving him in just his tight, tented boxers. He removed Killgrave's jeans as well, then pushed him to lie on his back again. He peeled the younger man's underwear off, freeing his leaking erection. Lucian took a moment to gaze reverently at his lover, his brown eyes blown black, his lips swelling from the kisses, flushed all the way down to his chest, his necklace flashing against his skin, his cock weeping fluid onto his belly.

"God, you are so beautiful," Lucian said, removing his underwear and covering Killgrave's body with his own again.

Both men gasped when their erections brushed together, kissing fervently. Killgrave pulled away for a minute, panting as he looked into his eyes.

"Make love to me, Lucian," he breathed. "Please."

"With pleasure, my love," Lucian panted.

He pulled away for a minute and grabbed his jeans off the floor, removing a small bottle of lube from one of the pockets. Killgrave managed a smirk at his lover.

"Prepared, are we?" he teased.

"Always," Lucian replied with a wink.

He flipped the lid opened and coated some of his fingers, then carefully caressed the skin around Killgrave's hole. The lycan slipped one finger in, kissing his lover's thigh to relax him when he tensed at the stretch. Lucian prepared the human slowly, making sure to take his time despite the soft, desperate sounds Killgrave was making. Eventually, Lucian pulled his fingers out and slicked up his aching erection, wrapping Killgrave's legs around his waist again, stroking some of his sweaty hair back from his face. The lycan slowly pressed in past the tight ring of muscles, moaning at the tightness and heat around his prick.

"Fuck, you're so big," Killgrave moaned, digging his nails into Lucian's biceps. "Feels so good when you're inside me."

"You're so tight," Lucian murmured, resting his forehead against Killgrave's.

They made love slowly but passionately, the bed creaking with their movements, adding to the cacophony of moans, deep kisses, and heavy breathing. Killgrave's hands went Lucian's biceps to his back, feeling the muscles flex under the skin, the textures of the scars there. He came first, yelling out Lucian's name as he speared his prostate, his cock splashing warm come between their bellies. Lucian followed soon after, biting down on Killgrave's shoulder, hard enough to leave a mark as he spilled into his lover. He collapsed on top of Killgrave, panting against his ear. The human stroked his love's sweaty hair, feeling their hearts racing almost in unison.

"I love you," Killgrave said when his breathing calmed.

"I love you, too," Lucian replied, kissing his jaw.

After a few minutes, he pulled out and they went to the bathroom to shower. They returned to bed with a fleece blanket and cuddled up under it on the bare mattress. Killgrave fell asleep first, and Lucian studied him for a minute, enjoying how relaxed his lover looked, his breathing slow and soothing. The lycan kissed the skin over his lover's heart, nosing at the necklace still around Killgrave's neck. Lucian rested his head against his lover's lithe chest and shut his eyes, feeling loved and content and at peace for the first time in many, many years.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know all you guys have ideas for this ship, probably more than I do. Feel free to leave requests or ideas in the comments or message me on Tumblr assassin-or-templar-56!


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